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Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale!

The Boys are sitting in a smokey mailbag

Alright dickheads, the Boys are back in the sack and they threw out a DECENT contest idea on the latest episode of Mailbag!

Before we know it, the camera dicks will be following Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles again for Season 12. We you arseholes to send some shit to the Mailbag to help decorate Sunnyvale!  If you have something that you think would make a great decoration for the set of Trailer Park Boys, send the cocksucker in and it just might make its way to Sunnyvale!

Contest details: 

  • Send us small shit only – anything that can fit inside a shoebox is good to go.
  • We’ll choose our 10 favourite items and use the cocksuckers on the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12.
  • If we choose your shit, we’ll give you a free year-long subscription to SwearNet.com to say fuckin’ thanks.
  • The deadline is the end of May – we need to receive your shit by May 31st!
  • We will announce the winners on an upcoming episode of Mailbag.
  • Contest open to SwearNet members only.  Please include your username.  If you’re not a member, what the fuck are you waiting for?

Mailbag address:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

ALSO on this episode of Mailbag – the Boys receive some piss jugs from Big Joe’s Biker Rings (the official maker of Trailer Park Boys jewelry), and a DECENT album of kitty songs from Pony Death Ride – including a fucking awesome cover of  Kitties Are So Nice:

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New on swearnet.com – A Good Day to Be Bornt

The Boys are still hungover from the May 2-4 weekend on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast!

Hard boozing is not the only thing the Boys are recovering from; Julian claims he is dealing with a zillion mosquito bites, but Bubbles disputes that a zillion mosquito bites is even fucking possible.

Ricky looks back on this day in history and remembers the brave Budd Hist, who set himself on fire in a brave protest.  The Boys also bring up Yoko Ono and John Lennon’s bed-in, which happened on this day in history in Montreal.

May 26th is certainly a great fucking day to be bornt, and the Boys chat about all the DECENT people who share this borntday, including John Wayne, Stevie Nicks, Matt Stone, Hank Williams, and a fuckload more geniuses.

The Boys get into a very cleansing discussion about colonics, and Ricky tries to put together a plan for a DIY version involving garden hoses and champagne bottles.

PLUS: Last week, Ricky was pissed at Crayola.  Now he’s fucking furious at Disney!  What did they do to make him so angry?!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by the dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Bent Fabric’s Alley Cat

Mike Smith holds up an album called ALLEY CAT

The Season 12 contest entries keep pouring in on the latest episode of Mailbag!

A while back, the Boys asked you crazy fuckers to send in some props and trinkets and silly shit that they can use to decorate the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12.  They’ll pick their top 10 at the end of the month.  There’s still a bit of time to get your shit in the mail, so put down that joint and get to the post office!  Click here for details and our fucking address!

Competition is stiffer than Randy in a Blandford play, with the Boys receiving a bubble maker for Bubbles’ shed, art supplies for Ricky’s trailer, and some DECENT records from Mountain Music Vinyl!

PLUS: Holy fuck, is it possible the drug-sniffing drugs at Canadian Customs got stoned because they’re sniffing drugs all day?  Because they missed a big one here…

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New on swearnet.com – How to Be a Successful Alcoholic

Lahey happily holds up a bottle of Liquormen's!

Understanding your childhood is key when trying to understand your own shitline.  Lahey takes us on a liquor trip down memory lane on the latest Liquor Stories with James Lahey, and we discover the early days of the young shitling that would eventually grow to be the supervisor of Sunnyvale Trailer Park!

After encouragement from Randy, Lahey spoke to a psychiatrist who dove into the liquor captain’s childhood memories, in an attempt to understand why he behaves the way he does today.  Lahey reads some of the psychiatric conclusions on today’s Liquor Stories, and finds that a lot of the analysis revolves around his time as an altar boy in the Catholic church.

We also learn about how a young Lahey dealt with bullies, and discover his earliest memories of seeing a flaccid adult penis.  All this and more on another fascinating episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – Fruit Baskets!

Ricky is very upset that Crayola is retiring Dandelion Yellow

Well fuck, the snacks have been downgraded again, but that didn’t stop the Boys from cracking out another fucking episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available on iTunes and Libsyn (or any half-way-fucking-decent podcast app).

The SwearNet dicks dropped the ball on the pepperoni (much to Ricky’s fucking dismay) but they replaced them with Muscle Krispies, Julian’s favourites!

After a long fucking conversation about fruit baskets and salad tossing, the Boys do a few borntday shout-outs to Malcolm X, Andre the Giant, Pete Townsend, and Georges St-Pierre.  Bubbles spends a little extra time complimenting the sexy body of one of those borntday Boys (hint: it’s not Andre the Oil-Checking Giant’s body).

The Boys were having some great fun until Crayola had to ruin the fucking fun and make Ricky upset!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Like an Angel Shit in My Mouth

JP is the king of the packages on the latest episode of Mailbag!  He’s the happy recipient of some very special gifts including some Montreal Canadiens steak knives, a DECENT new dagger, and even a fan letter from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!

There are some more serious contenders for the Season 12 decoration contest, including some tarot cards and Fluffy the cat.  The clock is fucking ticking on this contest, so if you want to enter before the May 31st deadline, you better get your shit in the mail now!

PLUS: The Boys receive some A+ portraits, all the way from Wishigan!

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New on swearnet.com – Fruit Baskets

Ricky is upset about a decision by Crayola

Well fuck, the snacks have been downgraded again, but that won’t stop the Boys from cranking out a DECENT new episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast.

Not all hope is lost in the snack department, because the SwearNet dicks were sure to include Muscle Krispies, Julian’s favourites!  But perhaps the catering fuck-up has left the Boys with food on their mind because they spend a very long time talking about fruit baskets and salad tossing.

There are borntday shout-outs a-plenty, with Malcolm X, Andre the Giant, Pete Townsend, and Georges St-Pierre all being bornt on May 19th.  Speaking of GSP, Bubbles has no end of compliments for that sexy body of his.

The Boys also discuss Smokey and the Bandit, and Bubbles lays down some mean CB radio chatter.

PLUS: What in the fuck did Crayola do to make Ricky so upset?!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Crazy Liquor and Cheeseburger Party

Three trailer park cats are drawing cigarettes

If you had to put your lips on Lahey, Randy, or Phil the Mustard Tiger, which one would you choose?  On the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats, the kitties let the cigarettes decide!

After discovering a liquor and cheeseburger party that went terribly wrong, Bubbles recruits Julian and Ricky to help resuscitate Phil, Lahey, and Randy.  The three idiots inhaled a lot of carbon monoxide, and the kitties know what they must do: mouth-to-fucking-mouth.

This episode of Trailer Park Cats is an animated feline adaptation of a classic scene from Season 7!

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Now on iTunes & Libsyn – My Concrete Car

the podcast is now available on iTunes

The brains of Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles are firing on all fucking cylinders on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available on iTunes and Libsyn!

It could be the dope, or perhaps the DECENT selection of Brother’s pepperoni, but whatever the fuck it is, the Boys are operating on a different wavelength for this podcash.  They’re coming up with ideas as wide-ranging as a reality show about concrete cars, to inventing a Bluetooth parasite that can control the movement of tuna.  Holy fuck.

The Boys also wish a happy birthday to comedian Bruce McCulloch (and totally fuck up the math when trying to figure out his age), and they start working on a business plan to open their own version of “Bush” Gardens.

PLUS: If two men go grocery shopping together, are they gay?  The Boys debate this and much more on the latest episode of the podcash, sponsored by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Edibles and Mailbags

The Boys carefully open a glitterbomb on Mailbag

The Boys narrowly escape an act of glittercock terrorism on today’s episode of Mailbag!

JP, Mike, and Robb are in a smokeless Mailbag tent (the episode is called “Edibles” – get it… they’re still high as fuck), and the “Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale” contest is in full swing!  The Boys are looking for some shit to help decorate the set of Season 12, and they definitely received some contenders in this round, including a DECENT kitty wall-hanging, a houndstooth snuggie, and a Lahey-sized flask!

But it was a cock-sized poster tube filled with many tiny mini-cocks that caught the most attention!

Remember – the Season 12 decoration contest ends on May 31st, so get your shit in the mail ASAP!  Click here for details.  You can send your shit to the Mailbag at:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

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New on swearnet.com – My Concrete Car

The Boys filming a podcast

Maybe it’s the DECENT food selection on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, maybe it’s the dope, whatever it is, the Boys’ brains are really fucking cooking today!

After taking some shit about the food selection last week, the SwearNet dicks sprung for some good shit this week, including Brother’s, the king of Nova Scotian pepperoni.  The snacks are fuelling the creative process big time, with the Boys coming up with ideas for a reality show about concrete cars, growing dope at Legoland, and opening up their own version of “Bush” Gardens.

They also wish Kids in the Hall alumni Bruce McCulloch a happy birthday, and get into a pretty fucked up conversation about controlling tuna with Bluetooth parasites.  Yes, you’re not tripping on mushrooms, you read that correctly.

This fucked up episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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