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SwearNet Mailbag – Come Together

Never mind the Bollocks, here’s SwearNet Mailbag! This week’s fuckin’ good haul includes sexy muscles, a Dancing Queen and three Dirty Dicks! Also: Who wants a race with Robb?!

Wanna send something to the Boys? Mail to:

Attn: Mailbag Swearnet.com Incorporated

PO Box 38072

Burnside

Dartmouth

NS B3B 1X2

CANADA

IMPORTANT: Please mark your package as a ‘gift’ because we won’t be fucking paying the import duty and tax!!

Randy’s Fuck Around Burger Contest – The Winners!

Feeling hungry? You frigging will be after seeing the dirrrty burgers that entered our Park After Dark #fuckaroundburger contest! And the winners are…

 

Trailer Park Boys cheeseburger contest - the winners

Give it up for Nicole Elizabeth Margiotta (top left) and her delicious stack heading right into her hubby’s cheeseburger locker! Top right is @thekuntz69’s greasy gourmet burger – look at that fucking thing, it’s a dirty meat masterpiece!

Bottom left is Shawn Jackson’s superstack, so fucking tall it needs a kitchen knife to keep ‘er together! And bottom right is @Casmetah’s three little dirty burgers, just begging for Gutzilla to put ’em down him. Congratulations fuckers, you all win a year’s subscription to SwearNet.com! But wait, there’s more…

 

Park After Dark Fuck Around Burger Contest - runners-up

Top left is @thompson_e16’s burger, so stuffed with deliciousness she’s in danger of collapse! Carina Green (top right) has the right idea of serving two fuck around burgers per plate – fucking delicious but there’s room for a few more chicken fingers, Carina!

Robbie MacAloney causes controversy with a potato-chip topped burger – well, why the fuck not? Chicken chips or dill picknel, you can’t go wrong. Lower left is Bradley G. Thomas’ healthy fuck around, with some green shit and tomato fucking thing – fibre is good, but that bacon needs more fucking flames brother, we can hear the oink from here!! You creative fuckers win a month of SwearNet.com!

AND THEN THERE’S THESE…

 

Park After Dark Fuck Around Burger Contest - fucked but we'd eat it!

Congratulations to these fuckers who gave it a good try, but sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t go.

Jeremiah Saint (top left) was obviously fucking high when he read the recipe, ’cause we don’t remember it saying EIGHT POUNDS OF FUCKING CHEESE, JEREMIAH. But you know what, it looks delicious! We’d pound that down us (with a Pepto-Bismol chaser). 

@RyeAndMarmalade (top right) sounds like they know a thing about cooking, but they must have been drunk on the liquor as they added EVERY CONDIMENT KNOWN TO MANKIND on their fuck around. We’d still hammer the fuck outta it, though.

Speaking of drunk and high, @ihatecookinganditshows created not a fuck around burger, but a THREE-EYED ALIEN MEAT MONSTER. Inspired to make this hot mess? Ingredients include brioche french toast, flamin’ hot cheetos-encrusted KFC fried chicken, Ben & Jerry’s poppin’ popcorn ice cream, and Jameson whiskey maple syrup & tabasco scorpion butter. Pairs well with Juniper space weed?!

Bottom right is @gilbybets’ creation – we call this the Fuck Around Creme De La Creme, if you nomesayin’… We hope that’s fucking mayo, Gilby!

Finally, Michael Rice (centre) wasn’t fucking around with his recipe: Three 6-ounce beef patties, triple cheese slices, peameal bacon, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, deep fried jalapeno poppers, deep fried pickles, special sauce, a fried egg and MORE crispy bacon. Trouble is, the cockspangle ate the fucking thing before he took a photo of it! Fuck’s sake Michael!!

For all your efforts, you also win a free month of SwearNet.com!

Build Randy’s April Fools’ Day Fuck Around Burger!

Trailer Park Boys Fuck Around Burger

Randy knocked it outta the park on this week’s Park After Dark, creating the mouth-and-ass-watering April Fools’ Day Fuck Around Burger – and we want to see YOUR attempt! Get in the chicken fingers, pepperoni, onion rings and bacon to create your own delicious burger, upload a photo to your favourite social media fucking thing, and tag it #fuckaroundburger. Vegetarian or vegan? Just substitute some tasty non-meat alternatives and get creative as fuck. We’ll share our favourites next week, and the most scrump-dilly pics will win a free year of SwearNet.com!

 

This is Randy’s masterpiece. DEEEEfuckingLICIOUS!!!

Pepperoni, bacon, beef, onion rings and cheese - the Fuck Around Burger!