Monthly Archives: August 2016

New on swearnet.com – One Night Stand

Kaitlin had a 1 night stand

What’s worse about the morning after a one night stand: the hangover, or trying to avoid the random greasy bastard that you banged?

Against some noisy odds, Kaitlin tries her best to vanish without waking anybody up.  Will she succeed?  Will she have to face her fears?  Will she grab a few snacks on the way out?  Watch the latest episode of Cheap Smokes to find out!

Of course, this isn’t the first time one of the girls had a rough morning-after – who could forget Laura dealing with the dreaded skid marks?!

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The Greasiest Photo of Them All

The winner of the Greasy outdoors contest!

It’s been a greasy month but it’s over – after three weeks of photo submissions and one week of voting, The Greasy Outdoors contest has a winner!

The winning photo was sent by Tina T (pictured above, Dumpster Tanner) and her greasy “Usual Suspects“: John “Johnny Bags” (Dumpster Diver); Chase (Dumpster King); Wade (Dumpster Feaster), and photographer Jeff.

For Tina, using a dumpster wasn’t just a greasy idea for a photo contest, it was a throw back to a few fucked up memories from her childhood.

“My mom was the Dumpster Queen,” recalls Tina.  “She’s Mexican-Irish, so she thinks finding a good dumpster haul is thrifty and smart, not trash diving. If my mom gives you something and doesn’t tell you where she got it… it was from the dumpster. She’ll say that she ‘found it’, but we all know.”

Tina’s mom provided some fucking fantastic inspiration because the dumpster photo crushed the competition — nearly 400 other photos were vying to be the greasiest of them all.  But it didn’t come without challenges.

“I scouted all of Burbank, CA to find an open dumpster where no one would bug us,” says Tina.  “Did you know most people lock their fucking trash AND they have mall dicks guarding it?  Luckily, I found a sweet spot and the security guard came over just as we were cleaning up. We got the fuck out of there before he got to us!”

Tina is taking home a DECENT prize pack of SwearNet swag, and she already has plans to celebrate.

“You know I’m gonna have a SwearNet/TPB party for my Usual Suspects,” says Tina.  “I’ll cook for them in my Dirty Burger apron (and nothing else), change into my Green Bastard shirt for the party and wear the fuck out of the SwearNet hat–and I don’t usually wear hats over this big curly hair, but that fucker is awesome!”

She’ll also get a free one-year subscription to SwearNet, and she’s pretty fuckin’ excited about that, too.

“I love so many SwearNet shows! Not kissing ass here, how would that help me now? The Trailer Park Boys Podcast is the best around. Period. And I’m a podcast whore, so I know. Also, I’m cuckoo-bananas for The Jim Lahey Show with Randy, Gettin’ Learnt and Guitar Lessons with Bubbles. The OWC guys are a fucking delight, as well.”

Congrats to Tina, you fucking earned it!  And many thanks to the many fuckers who sent in their fucking photos.  Fuckin’ DECENT!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn: The Cock of Steel

Bubbles asks Ricky a question

Bubbles was unsatisfied with last week’s Sunnyvale Family Feud so they’re back at it again – on this week’s podcast, Ricky and Julian square off to see who will stand tall as “smartest fucker”!  Plus – the Boys discuss Superman and his cock of steel!

The audio version is now available as a free download from iTunes and Libsyn!

Episode 54 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat ‘King Bee’ microphones!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – He Let the Liquor Do the Thinking!

Bill Wood joins Lahey and Randy

Download, plug in your fuckin’ ear buds, bud, and let the LIQUOR do the thinking!  Episode 9 of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy is now available for free download on iTunes and Libsyn!

Comedian Bill Wood joins Randy and Lahey, and he performs a few magic tricks while Lahey tries to recover from a mean bender.  Plus: Randy cooks up the GREASIEST breakfast idea ever – CHEESEBURGER PANCAKES.

While you’re at it, tell the Apple dicks that you love Lahey and Randers — give the Shitwizard and Cheeseburger Locker a rave fucking review!

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New on swearnet: This Isn’t a Buzzer, This Is a Fucking Fart Piano

The boys are playing another round of Sunnyvale Family Feud

Unsatisfied with last week’s edition of Sunnyvale Family Feud, Bubbles takes the competition to the next level and adds in REAL buzzers to find out who truly is the smartest fucker at the table.

On this week’s podcash, Ricky and Julian go head-to-head in a fucked up trivia contest, Ricky explains how fire hydrants work, the the Boys ponder the super powers of Superman’s COCK OF STEEL!

All this cockery is brought to you by Neat Microphone’s King Bee mics and Beeline cables, Liquormen’s Ol Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Trailer Park Boys Merch store.

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New Trailer Park Boys Merch!

Ricky and Julian visited the Canadian Gift expo in Toronto this week to launch a greasy new range of Trailer Park Boys goodies – here’s a sneak preview!

 

New Trailer Park Boys merch!

Will Santa/Jesus/God will be leaving some of these mawfks under your tree this Xmas?

 

Julian from Trailer Park Boys

Julian signs a Sunnyvale clock for a fan (shortly before stealing it)

 

Ricky, Julian and Drinko game

Time to get drunk as fuck!

 

Making lots of $crilla for a great cause!

 

The Boys also sold TPB t-shirts at the event, with all proceeds going to the Gord Downie Fund for Brain Cancer Research. Decent work, fellas!

 

More merch news coming soon, so stay tuned!

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Now on swearnet.com: Surprised Ya!

A robbery at a car rental store

Poor Ashley.  Sometimes life can get stuck in a rut and you find yourself with very little to get excited about.  That was Ashley’s life, until a robber busted into her car rental shop with a gun!

Will Ashley step up and release her inner hero?  Will her life so from bland to BAAAAAM?!  Or will some fucked up shit happen instead?

This is Cheap Smokes.  Our money is on “some fucked up shit”…

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New on swearnet.com: A Liquor Trip around the World

Lahey looks at a glass of scotch

Lahey and Randy are back from their trip through the USA, but they’re not slowing down — Lahey’s embarking on a liquor trip around the world!

With the help of Liquor Professor Dom Carlos, Lahey delves into the spirit of spirits.  Besides making you shit-faced, liquor can take you on a cultural experience like no other!  Or does it just make you shit-faced?  We’re not sure.

On Randy’s Kitchen, Bobandy is going full Mexican on his burger patties.  PLUS: Learn a sensible way to cut down on your dope intake!

 

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New on swearnet.com: The Mailbag is Back!

Mike Smith trying some dirty hot sauce

The Mailbag might’ve piled up a bit while the Boys were busy filming Season 10, but they’re back in the studio now and they want their free shit!

On today’s edition of the Mailbag, JP receives a gift capable of killing a gator, Robb gets a bottle of Ass Blaster hot sauce (and Mike tries it), and Mike gets a plethora of cock merchandise!

Plus, Big Joe sends some of his DECENT belt buckles all the way from Thailand!  Big Joe has been making some fucking amazing TPB jewelry – check this shit out!

If you want to send cock-related merchandise to Mike Smith, send ‘er here:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

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