Monthly Archives: February 2017

New on swearnet.com – The Liquor has Returned!

Lahey puts his feet up and enjoys some VAT 69

The liquor shall not sleep, the liquor shall not rest in peace, the liquor shall return!

Liquor Stories with James Lahey returns for a second season, with Mr. Lahey dedicating the first episode to a sippy-poo that is very symbolic of the upper-classity, VAT 69.

Lahey, coming to us from his recently renogulated set, takes a trip down memory lane to New York City in 1984, and the Halifax Harbour in the 1970s, and shares some of the important moments in his life that involved VAT 69.

Hot summer days, drug busts, biker gangs, and sexy Scottish men are all part of VAT 69’s Liquor Story!

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New on swearnet.com – Make Randy’s Kitchen Great Again!

Randy pours Mr. Lahey a drink

Drunky the Fuck Clown and the Cheeseburger Locker are back for a new season of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy, only on SwearNet.com!

On the first episode of the new season, we get a look at the updated set, including a much larger space for Randy’s Kitchen (though maybe he may have encroached on someone else’s territory).  Speaking of Randy and burgers, he’s sporting a Cheeseburger Patch to help curb his cravings and keep him on track to trim down for 2017.

They invite the “greatest guest they’ve ever had” – some guy named Greg that Lahey met at the laundromat.  Greg wows Lahey and Randy with his passion for yo-yos and marijuana-related web domains.

Welcome to the year of the cock!

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Now on iTunes & Libsyn – If a Chicken Can Do It, Can Ricky?

Ricky tells Bubbles and Julian that he could be a dentist

Ricky has big musical dreams on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available in audio form on iTunes and Libsyn!  Inspired by a YouTube video of a chicken playing piano, Ricky figures it can’t be that hard and hopes to eventually be good enough to become a Shit Rocker.

But that’s not Ricky’s only professional aspiration.  He’s also thinking about trying his hand at dentistry, after all, they’re basically just mechanics with teeth, and we know from Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky that he is handy with a power tool.

We also learn the origins of the phrase “Milk and Honey,” the difference between a spider and an octopus, and the invention of rum and coke.

Podcash episode 80 is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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Create your own #TPBvalentine and win!

Create your own Trailer Park Boys valentine!

Sunnyvale can be a sexy goddamn place to live, and it’s time you shared that sexiness with your special someone!

Stop wasting your fucking money on Valentine’s Day cards and make your own e-Valentine using TrailerParkBoys.com’s greasy new meme generator!

The fucking instructions:

  1. Click here to go to the meme generator.
  2. Choose from the four Valentine’s Day pictures on the left — a sultry bow-tied Randers, Red Light District Bubbles, Sexian, or one of the longest-lasting couples in Sunnyvale, Randy and Mr. Lahey!
  3. Slap your personalized greasy message of romance on the cocksucker.  You can move the text left, right, up, and down.
  4. Once you’ve finished your Valentine and the mawfk is looking perfect, share the whore on social media using the hashtag #TPBvalentine so we can find the prick.

The Boys and the dicks at SwearNet will pick our favourite #TPBvalentine and the winner will receive a flask gift set showcasing the purest love there is – the love between a man and his cheeseburger!

Fuck off, you got work to do!  The contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, February 15th!A Randy loves cheeseburgers flask set including shot glasses and a funnel

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New on swearnet.com – Ricky the Discount Dentist?!

Bubbles holds a toy crab

Move over Sam Losco, Sunnyvale has a new greasy discount dentist – Ricky!

On the latest Trailer Park Boys Podcast, Julian fills Ricky’s head with the idea of becoming a self-taught dentist.  How hard can it be?  A dentist is basically just a mechanic for teeth, and we’ve all seen Ricky in action with power tools on Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky. 

The Boys also discuss the differences between a spider and an octopus, the origins of the phrase “milk and honey,” and some manscaping pointers to help avoid crabs.

And then there was this:

Podcash episode 80 is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – How the Fuck to Make Swish

Bubbles and Julian explain how to make swish

Season Two of Dear Julian has been featuring some DECENT guests, none more decent than one of Julian’s best friends on the planet, Bubbles!

On today’s episode, Julian and Bubbles answer fan questions on a number of fucked topics, including the origins of the Green Bastard, how to rip off EI (Employment Insurance, or pogey to most), and the Boys share some stories about Randy as a young dickhead.  You’ll also get a detailed set of instructions for making DIRTY OLD SWISH.

Plus: Ever wonder where Bubbles gets all of his fucking amazing shirts?  Watch this episode to find out!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – Podcash 80, er, 79!

podcast-79-itunes

Holy fuck the Boys were baked for this one.  Episode 79 of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast (despite these three stoned fuckers calling it episode 80) is now available in audio form on iTunes and Libsyn!

With this being the anniversary of the plane crash that took the lives of three DECENT musicians in Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper, the Boys discuss the Don McLean classic American Pie, and Julian and Bubbles try to convince Ricky that it was not a tune by Ron MacLean and Don Cherry.

The Boys also chat about the biggest cock in the world, and we learn about the fucked up healing tradition of eyeball licking.

Episode 79 is sponsored by the official Trailer Park Boys Merch Store!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Plane Crashes and Penises

Ricky celebrates a Sunnyvale Jeopardy victory

The Boys are so fucking baked for the latest installment of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast that they seem to have time travelled because they think it’s episode 80, when it’s actually just 79.

This very stoned podcash episode features several uncontrollable laughing fits, which Ricky claims can be fixed by smashing something.  As it’s the anniversary of “The Day the Music Died,” the Boys reminisce on the plane crash that took the lives of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper (which Julian correctly points out, is a fucking downer of a topic to discuss while high).  The discussion gets even more fucked when we learn that Ricky completely made up his own back story to Don McLean’s American Pie, which Ricky assumed was a collaboration between Ron MacLean and Don Cherry of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada.

The Boys also chat about the biggest cock in the world, eyeball licking, and dirty Japanese underwear, among other fucky topics.

PLUS: The Boys dust off the buzzers for a quick game of Sunnyvale Jeopardy!

Episode 79 is sponsored by the official Trailer Park Boys Merch Store!

 

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Send Us Your Fucking Questions

Dear Julian needs your questions

Alright dickheads, we want more questions for upcoming episodes of Dear Julian.

Since we started the second season, Bubbles and Ricky seem to have found their way onto the set.  Julian doesn’t want them around all the fucking time, it’s still called DEAR JULIAN for fuck sakes, but you never know when they might show up.  So include questions for those two shit weasels too if it tickles your fucking fancy!

Trying to figure out how to fuck over the tax man this tax season?

Want to learn how to roll the perfect six-paper joint?

Can’t stop your kitty from humping your fucking leg?

Comment below!

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