Monthly Archives: March 2017

New on swearnet.com – Perfectly Contentedly High

The Boys are contentedly high for the release of season 11

On this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys are fuckin’ excited and contentedly high for the release of Season 11!

Though Ricky’s worried that the camera dicks might’ve made him look like an idiot again, the Boys have been eagerly anticipating the March 31st release date on Netflix.  So much, that they are giving away some of THEIR shit from Sunnyvale!  Check out the official contest page to find out how you can win a jar of Bubbles Pizza Sauce, a “Ricky’s Ball Hockey Camp” poster, and a LEGIT Julian rum glass!

Since this is such a DECENT day in the Boys’ calendar, they decided to find out what other DECENT things happened on this day, and they discuss the construction of the Eiffel Tower (which Ricky disputes), Wrestlemania, and the rise to power of a certain dickhead with a moustache.

They also get into a totally fucked conversation about Mr. Hockey, Mr. Sub, Mr. Lube, Mr. Clean, and a few other fucked up misters.

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

Oh yeah, after you finish watching this podcast, TURN ON NETFLIX AND WATCH THE FUCK OUT OF SEASON 11!

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The Need for Weed #TPB11 Viewing Party Contest!

The Need for Weed Trailer Park Boys t-shirt

On March 31st, the whole fuckin’ world will feel the NEED FOR WEED as Trailer Park Boys Season 11 hits Netflix!

We want to see how YOU cocksuckers are celebrating the new season!  Whether you’re with your dickhead friends, or on your own with nine cans of ravioli, we want pictures of your Need for Weed #TPB11 Viewing Party and we’ll be giving out prizes for our favourites!

Three runners-up will get some DECENT swag from TrailerParkBoysMerch.com, but the grand prize winner will get something money can’t buy – real-deal shit from the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 11!

You’ll get an authentic “Ricky’s Ball Hockey” poster, a jar of Bubbles’ “Srumdilly Organico Pizza Sauce” (this is just a prop, for fuck sakes, it’ll probably make you sick as fuck, don’t eat the shit), and we even stole one of Julian’s sexy rum glasses from the dirty dancer himself!  We’ll also throw in an autographed 8×10 from the Boys.

Win a ball hockey poster, a jar of pizza sauce, and a rum glass from the set of TPB11

Click here to go to the contest page for rules, details, and for to upload your fucking photo!

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Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale!

The Boys are sitting in a smokey mailbag

Alright dickheads, the Boys are back in the sack and they threw out a DECENT contest idea on the latest episode of Mailbag!

Before we know it, the camera dicks will be following Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles again for Season 12. We you arseholes to send some shit to the Mailbag to help decorate Sunnyvale!  If you have something that you think would make a great decoration for the set of Trailer Park Boys, send the cocksucker in and it just might make its way to Sunnyvale!

Contest details: 

  • Send us small shit only – anything that can fit inside a shoebox is good to go.
  • We’ll choose our 10 favourite items and use the cocksuckers on the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12.
  • If we choose your shit, we’ll give you a free year-long subscription to SwearNet.com to say fuckin’ thanks.
  • The deadline is the end of May – we need to receive your shit by May 31st!
  • We will announce the winners on an upcoming episode of Mailbag.
  • Contest open to SwearNet members only.  Please include your username.  If you’re not a member, what the fuck are you waiting for?

Mailbag address:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

ALSO on this episode of Mailbag – the Boys receive some piss jugs from Big Joe’s Biker Rings (the official maker of Trailer Park Boys jewelry), and a DECENT album of kitty songs from Pony Death Ride – including a fucking awesome cover of  Kitties Are So Nice:

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – What the Fuck Happened Last Week?!

Bubbles tries to convince Ricky that the robot horse is not real

Just what in the fuck happened in the black-out liquor week that started on St. Patrick’s Day?  That’s what the Boys are trying to figure out on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available for fucking free in audio form on iTunes and Libsyn!

By the time the camera dicks showed up to film the St. Patrick’s Day podcast, the Boys where nowhere to be seen, and the podcast set was absolutely fucked.  Bubbles eventually found himself in the fuckin’ Bahamas, somehow.

So here they are, back on the podcash, trying to piece together what the fuck happened last week.

They also cover a wide range other topics, from money-making schemes, to March 24th borntdays, to the yoghurt/cheese/butter-making process.

PLUS: Why in the fuck is Ricky so convinced that the robot horse is real?!

This week’s episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Ricky Wants to Go Back to Jail

Kitty Ricky instructs Kitty Cory and TrevorOn the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats, Ricky’s goal is pretty simple: he wants to go the fuck back to jail.

Whether it’s stealing gas from kitty Jacob, firing off his handgun in a coffee shop parking lot, or stealing an ATM with two fucking stupid Cory and Trevor kitties, Ricky is doing whatever it takes to go the fuck back to jail.  (Un)lucky for him, kitty Julian is right on his heels.

This animated feline take on a DECENT episode from Trailer Park Boys Season 8 comes to you from the fucked mind of Scott Wagner!

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New on swearnet.com – What the Fuck Happened Last Week?!

Ricky thinks the animatronic horse is at least a little bit alive

Well, St. Patrick fucked the Boys hard, and on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys try to piece together what the fuck happened last week.

In an attempt to get last week’s podcash out of the way early, the Boys tried filming it early in the morning before the camera dicks arrived at SwearNet studio.  Unfortunately, Ricky’s special “St. Patrick’s Day” dope sent the Boys down a rabbit hole that ended up fucking over the weekly podcash streak, and somehow resulted in Ricky and Bubbles in the fuckin’ Bahamas.  Julian was spotted going to the gym with some strong young men, but he denies that accusation.

Beyond trying to figure out what the fuck happened last week, the Boys also chat about March 24th borntdays, money making schemes, and Ricky explains his theory about the creation of yoghurt, cheese, and butter.

PLUS: Are meteorites harder than diamonds?

This week’s episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Let the Liquor Do the Bowling

Lahey is no longer banned from the bowling alley

Not all stories can be told from an arm chair.  On today’s episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Lahey takes us out of his liquor parlour and into the Sunnyvale Bowling Alley!

Twenty years ago, in 1997, Lahey was at the top of his bowling game.  Unfortunately, he was not wearing the regulation bowling pants, and was disqualified, robbed of his trophy, and banned from the bowling alley for 20 years.

Well, the shit clock has reached the end of its countdown, and now Lahey is free to return to the bowling alley and right a 20-year-old wrong.

Will he win back his championship?

Will he get drunk as fuck?

Will he wear regulation pants?

Will he wear pants at all?

One thing’s for sure.  He’ll be letting the liquor do the bowling.

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New on swearnet.com – State of the Union for March 21st!

The Boys are tired on the couch

Vacations are supposed to be restful, right?  Well no matter how you relax, coming back to work always kicks the shit out of you.  The Boys are back from vacation after filming Out of the Park: USA, and they’re serving up another SWEARNET STATE OF THE UNION!

Robb is recovering from a very happy birthday yesterday, and Mike is doing his best “creepy Scottish puppet” routine to keep the mood (fucked) up.  The Boys serve up some updates on Out of the Park: USA, the mobile game, the Freedom 35 beer launch in Toronto, and last week’s podcast fuck-around, among other fuckin’ news.

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St. Green Bastard’s Day Contest!

Bubbles dressed in his Green Bastard costume

Celebrate the patron saint of PARTS UNKNOWN by dressing up like the Green Bastard this March 17th, or as we like to call it, St. Green Bastard’s Day!

Submit a photo of your Green Bastard outfit (head-to-toe full-bastard or even just a mask or GB t-shirt), and you’ll be entered into a random draw to win a Liquormen’s t-shirt.  Because you KNOW that Liquormen’s is the official whisky of St. Green Bastard’s Day!

Click here to enter the contest!

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New on swearnet.com – Dream a Little Liquor Dream of Me

Lahey answers a call during a late-night Liquor Stories taping

The latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey is a journey so deep into Lahey’s liquor brain that you may fear you will never return to your normal life.

After having a late-night “epissany,” Lahey wakes from a deep sleep and decides he needs to rush to SwearNet studios to record a late-night Liquor Stories to impart a mountain of shit-knowledge on the SwearNet audience.

No Chipper, no problem, Lahey can operate his own camera. He proceeds to launch into a dimly-lit magnum shit-opus of epic proportions. Old Man Liquor offers rules to live by, and his unstoppable train of thought is only interrupted twice – once for a phone call, and once for a mean fuckin’ swig of Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky.

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