Monthly Archives: August 2017

New on swearnet.com – Fuckin Glum Cunt

the offworld cookery cocks dressed up like mel gibson characters

On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, the three Northern English food cocks are paying tribute to a certifiable film icon, Mel Gibson.

Dressed in garb from Braveheart, Mad Max, and Lethal Weapon, the lads prepare a spread of Mel-meals, including haggis-stuffed duck and a molasses-bread cleverly (?) named “Treacle Weapon.”

This cooking expedition is mentored by a beaver from the Mel Gibson film Beaver.  And this little beaver is full of fucking vitriol, voiced by the actual raving frothing Mel Gibson himself.  What a fucking glum cunt he can be.

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – It’s Raining Horse Cocks, Hallelujah

It’s raining like fuck in Sunnyvale and the Boys are singing all about it on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available on iTunes and Libsyn!  

Bubbles challenges Ricky and Julian to come up with as many rain-related songs as possible, as the rain hammers down on the rooftop below.  And holy fuck are there ever a lot of DECENT songs about rain!  He tries to edge them into a sun-related competition but enough is e-fucking-nough.

The Boys are a little off-kilter after Ricky slid some magic mushrooms into their breakfast omelette, and topped their pancakes with weed butter.  This altered state of mind brings the Boys down some fucky roads, and they play a dark, cringe-worthy game of “If You Had To.”

The Canadian Comedy Awards’ TOP PODCAST is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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FREE MONTH: Enjoy SwearNet in September for Fucking Free!

Want to hang out in the park for a month before you decide to hand over your lot fees?

We’re throwing a big fucking promotion for the month of September!  We’re giving you dicks free access to SwearNet.com, the home of the Trailer Park Boys!  You’ll get Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky, the video version of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, Guitar Lessons with Bubbles, exclusive behind-the-scenes material from the set of Trailer Park Boys, the Jim Lahey and Randy Show, and a fuckload more.  And it won’t cost you a fucking penny!

How the fuck do I get my free month?

1. Go to our sign-up page by clicking here.

2. Register for a free SwearNet account.

3. Enter the code SEPTEMBERFREE

4. On September 1st, your free month will start!

5. Roll a six-paper-joint and watch the fuck out of SwearNet!

What if I’m a loyal fucker that is already a part of SwearNet? What in the FUCK will I get?

We haven’t forgotten about you, our most special fucks of all.  When you log into SwearNet, you will see a link that will give you a free digital download of Trailer Park Boys Season 10 – a $14.99 value!

 

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New on swearnet.com – It’s Raining Horse Cocks

The rain is falling heavy in Sunnyvale and the Boys don’t give a fuck on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast.  In fact, it gets them in a singing mood, and they see how many rain-related songs they can rhyme off.  That’s not the only musical segment in the show — Ricky breaks out Achy Breaky Heart after reminiscing his greasy mullet and line dancing phase.

Ricky gets learnt on a few spelling fundamentals, as he discovers the phucked phonetics of the letter “Q” – his mind is fucking blown that it can be found in words such as “liquor” and “conquer.”

Bubbles doesn’t stop there – he debuts a segment that he is working on called Blowing Ricky’s Mind and gets into some straight-up crazy spacey shit that does indeed blow Ricky’s mind.

PLUS: Julian reveals who he would bring with him on a trip to an alien planet… and it’s not Bubbles!

This week’s podcash is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – Fuckin Randy and Lahey join the Podcash

Randy shits himself on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast

The Boys are in a sour fuckin mood because Randy and (briefly) Lahey join this week’s Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available on iTunes and Libsyn!  

Drunky the Fuck Clown and his Cheeseburger Walrus are excited to announce that they, like the Boys, are also doing a USA tour next week.  In fact, they’re going to be in the same cities.  On the same fucking dates.  Holy fuck.  The Boys must have been baked for the last couple of months though, because this has been advertised on their fucking tour site.  Read the contracts, Boys… read the fucking contracts!

Aside from the tour bullshit, the Boys talk about the different places they’d like to papercut on Randy’s body.  Bubbles asks the Boys if they’ve ever found god, and Randy brings up a time in which a higher power helped hi, by extending a burger special.

PLUS: Julian can hardly contain his excitement – it’s PATRICK SWAYZE’S BIRTHDAY!

The Canadian Comedy Awards’ TOP PODCAST is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Randy and Lahey Are Coming on Tour?!

Randy says something stupid on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast

Randy reeks and he is satted next to Ricky on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast!

Randy has joined the podcash (along with Mr. Lahey for a brief drunken moment) to announce that they will be visiting the same cities as the Boys are when they go on tour next weekend.  Either Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles didn’t read the contract, or they didn’t check their own fucking tour website, because Lahey and Randy are definitely announced.

After Lahey leaves, the Boys (and fucking Randy) talk about finding Jesus, Titanic replicas, and whether or not icebergs have thoughts.

PLUS: Julian is getting fuckin drunk tonight – it’s Patrick Swayze’s birthday!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Law and Order

Officer Paul checks Alessandro's prison jump suit for semen with the aid of a black light

Alessandro is fucked now!  He’s in handcuffs under the custody of Office Paul Kerry and Judge Chico on the latest episode of Offworld Cookery.

Violent maniac cop Paul whips up a shitty porridge that is still too good for his prisoners.  Judge Chico pours a bunch of complicated shit into some weird fucking oven thing and somehow produces a decent pork souffle.  Then Alessando, the dead man walking, manages to pull off a dry-but-sweet pan of prison brownies just before his fate is sealed by the judge.

PLUS: If you’ve ever wondered what the blood-alcohol level is on a typical Offworld Cookery filming day, you’re about to find out!

 

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn – Pecker vs Beaver

Bubbles flips off Julian

The Boys are playing a game of BUSH OR NO BUSH on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available on iTunes and Libsyn!  

After shouting out a happy borntday to a former Playboy playmate, Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles try to guess whether or not David Duchovny has a bush, if he’s clean-shaven, or if perhaps he has some stubble happening.

And what about Cher?  Barbara Bush??  Bush or no bush?

The Boys chat about a woodpecker who recently made news by going ballistic on a utility pole.  This prompts Ricky to dream about the damage he could do as a furious woodpecker, with his sights set on the New York City electrical grid.  But would a beaver be better?  Perhaps it might — so long as its arsehole isn’t being harvested for cherry flavouring (you can thank Bubbles for that mental image).

The Canadian Comedy Awards’ TOP PODCAST is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Rudi Invades the Mailbag

For this episode of Mailbag, the Boys are extra baked — and that’s saying something.

In Episode 10 – “The Rudi Episode” – the Boys continue to receive a seemingly never-ending supply of mail from the ever-generous superfan known as Rudi.  JP and Robb are wearing shirts that they already received from Rudi, but more material is on the way, including a country-western necklace for Trinity.  Rudi even makes a suggestion on how to shoot Podcast Episode 100, and his idea about shooting in a different location with lots of cast and crew celebrating Canada’s 150th birthday was actually exactly what we fucking well did for Podcast Episode 100.

Intrigued by Rudi’s devotion to all things Trailer Park Boys, Mike decides to put on his detective cap and makes a phone call to see if he can discover some information about the superfan.

PLUS: The Boys learn about a jam shed, Robb gets some DECENT Ricky, and JP receives the gift of Swayze.

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New on swearnet.com – Pecker vs Beaver

Bubbles flips off Julian

The Boys are pitting woodpeckers vs beavers on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast!

Ricky imagines the amount of damage he could do as a furious woodpecker, including but not limited to destroying the entire electrical grid of New York City.  The Boys wonder if a beaver would be more effective, but Bubbles warns that some beavers are harvested for their cherry-flavoured arseholes.

The Boys also invent a wonderfully new fucked game called “Bush or No Bush” and try to figure out whether or not David Duchovny is shaved clean or perhaps has a little stubble.  And what about Barbara Bush?  Bush or no bush?

Julian gives the gift of The Jim Lahey Show (and Randy) lighter leashes, in the form of giant fucking boxes for Ricky and Bubbles.  Ricky was excited at first, because he used to rock the lighter leash look.  But once he learned that it was official merchandise for Lahey and Randy’s SwearNet talk show, he nearly flipped the fuck out.

This episode of the Canadian Comedy Award’s TOP PODCAST is brought to you by SwearNet.com (sign up for only $4.20), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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