Happy Fucketry Wednesday, fuckerrrrss!!! Are the Boys too damn high to operate their puppets this week? Plus, the giggly little freaks have a fucker of a dialogue challenge. Let’s visit the sex toy factory and find out who’s the biggest dildo!
Never mind the Bollocks, here’s SwearNet Mailbag! This week’s fuckin’ good haul includes sexy muscles, a Dancing Queen and three Dirty Dicks! Also: Who wants a race with Robb?!
Wanna send something to the Boys? Mail to:
Attn: Mailbag Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072
NS B3B 1X2
IMPORTANT: Please mark your package as a ‘gift’ because we won’t be fucking paying the import duty and tax!!
Rev. Ricky Brown is back from the wilderness with another HUUPPPliftment Hour Sunday sermon! After spending forty days and forty nights in… hey, it don’t matter where the fuck he’s been, he’s returned to save yo sorry asses from the Devil.
Want the chance to be a character witness for Ricky (cause he’s gonna need them)? Sign up below, nukkas!
Feeling hungry? You frigging will be after seeing the dirrrty burgers that entered our Park After Dark #fuckaroundburger contest! And the winners are…
Give it up for Nicole Elizabeth Margiotta (top left) and her delicious stack heading right into her hubby’s cheeseburger locker! Top right is @thekuntz69’s greasy gourmet burger – look at that fucking thing, it’s a dirty meat masterpiece!
Bottom left is Shawn Jackson’s superstack, so fucking tall it needs a kitchen knife to keep ‘er together! And bottom right is @Casmetah’s three little dirty burgers, just begging for Gutzilla to put ’em down him. Congratulations fuckers, you all win a year’s subscription to SwearNet.com! But wait, there’s more…
Top left is @thompson_e16’s burger, so stuffed with deliciousness she’s in danger of collapse! Carina Green (top right) has the right idea of serving two fuck around burgers per plate – fucking delicious but there’s room for a few more chicken fingers, Carina!
Robbie MacAloney causes controversy with a potato-chip topped burger – well, why the fuck not? Chicken chips or dill picknel, you can’t go wrong. Lower left is Bradley G. Thomas’ healthy fuck around, with some green shit and tomato fucking thing – fibre is good, but that bacon needs more fucking flames brother, we can hear the oink from here!! You creative fuckers win a month of SwearNet.com!
AND THEN THERE’S THESE…
Congratulations to these fuckers who gave it a good try, but sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t go.
Jeremiah Saint (top left) was obviously fucking high when he read the recipe, ’cause we don’t remember it saying EIGHT POUNDS OF FUCKING CHEESE, JEREMIAH. But you know what, it looks delicious! We’d pound that down us (with a Pepto-Bismol chaser).
@RyeAndMarmalade (top right) sounds like they know a thing about cooking, but they must have been drunk on the liquor as they added EVERY CONDIMENT KNOWN TO MANKIND on their fuck around. We’d still hammer the fuck outta it, though.
Speaking of drunk and high, @ihatecookinganditshows created not a fuck around burger, but a THREE-EYED ALIEN MEAT MONSTER. Inspired to make this hot mess? Ingredients include brioche french toast, flamin’ hot cheetos-encrusted KFC fried chicken, Ben & Jerry’s poppin’ popcorn ice cream, and Jameson whiskey maple syrup & tabasco scorpion butter. Pairs well with Juniper space weed?!
Bottom right is @gilbybets’ creation – we call this the Fuck Around Creme De La Creme, if you nomesayin’… We hope that’s fucking mayo, Gilby!
Finally, Michael Rice (centre) wasn’t fucking around with his recipe: Three 6-ounce beef patties, triple cheese slices, peameal bacon, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, deep fried jalapeno poppers, deep fried pickles, special sauce, a fried egg and MORE crispy bacon. Trouble is, the cockspangle ate the fucking thing before he took a photo of it! Fuck’s sake Michael!!
For all your efforts, you also win a free month of SwearNet.com!
One for the money two for the show, three to get wasted, let’s fucking go! On the latest greasy episode of Park After Dark, the Boys get learnt about living in a simulation, the world’s smartest dogs, and why gender reveal parties can fuck right off. Also: Julian spends Jeff Bezos’ scrilla!
Parties in jail are the best fuckin’ parties! On the latest Trailer Park Boys Jail Short, there’s a big surprise for Bubbles, with cake, chips and condom balloons. But Ricky has one more treat… prepare for takeoff!
Time to get greasy on the latest Puppetry Fucketry Improv Hour! There’s some dirrrrrty moves this week as Robb, JP and Mike head to the Fucketry pet shop. Who’s gonna get their horn scraped, and who’ll end up with a turnip up their ass?
Put down that fucking Easter candy and get ready to skin tha Devil with another Rev. Ricky Brown sermon! Ricky reflects on an unfortunate near-death experience. But being butt naked won’t stop Ricky Brown from getting closer to the Lord! AAAAAAAmuthafuckinMENNNN!
Randy knocked it outta the park on this week’s Park After Dark, creating the mouth-and-ass-watering April Fools’ Day Fuck Around Burger – and we want to see YOUR attempt! Get in the chicken fingers, pepperoni, onion rings and bacon to create your own delicious burger, upload a photo to your favourite social media fucking thing, and tag it #fuckaroundburger. Vegetarian or vegan? Just substitute some tasty non-meat alternatives and get creative as fuck. We’ll share our favourites next week, and the most scrump-dilly pics will win a free year of SwearNet.com!
This is Randy’s masterpiece. DEEEEfuckingLICIOUS!!!
Is it War or Peace in Sunnyvale? On the latest Park After Dark, Ricky and Randy attempt to make friends after their April Fools’ Day pranks went to shit! Can Randy win Ricky over with the DIRTIEST burger he’s ever made? Also: Forget shit hawks, look out for the Alaskan meat ravens!
Look out for more greasy cheeseburger fun later today! 🍔