FUCK!!! Been so drunk and high all December you forgot to send any holiday cards? Share our awesome Trailer Park Boys eCard with your friends and family, or tag ’em here! (Thanks to the talented-as-fuck Midnight Oil Print & Design House for the design!)
Attention Ontario: The Boys and Randy are getting ready to ride the ol’ shit sleigh and bring you ‘A Sunnyvale Christmas’ next week! Tickets are selling fast – Belleville and the first Toronto show is SOLD THE FUCK OUT, so grab yours now before it’s too late and Christmas is fuckin’ ruined!!
Mr. Lahey is in high spirits for the Jim Lahey Show and Randy Christmas special! He won some cash on the VLTs and is buying everyone in Sunnyvale a gift, even the shit weasels! He also presents the recipe which got him nominated for a Nobel Peace prize, the “Fruitcake Liquorball Sandwich.”
Not to be outdone, on Randy’s Kitchen, Randers puts together Christmas Burgers, and gives Lahey the gift of liquor.
PLUS: A special guest from the park joins the celebrations!
Bubbles mixes up his patented Liquor-Nogs (complete with a crushed candy cane rim job) and Ricky demonstrates the answer to all of NASA’s problems: The Shitsucker 3000.
Despite Julian being a grumpy bastard with better things to do, the Boys exchange presents and they even open up some curiously sexy gifts from a secret drunk trailer park supervisor Santa!
Ricky shows off some of his hand-made declorations, and encourages you dickhead fans to enter his Gettin’ Declorated with Ricky contest! Take a pic of your do-it-your-fucking-self orlaments, wreets, or whatever, and if we like it, you’ll win a DECENT prize pack!
Er, well, not real hash, the police would fuck us over pretty bad if we started doing that. But we still have a DECENT gift for you if you spend just £30 / €35 / $35 on our merchandise! A hash coin makes a great fucking stocking stuffer! These cocksuckers are made by Big Joe’s Biker Rings, the official maker of Trailer Park Boys jewelry.
Stay tuned for more GREASY deals as we get closer to the borntday of Santa-Jesus-God!
Christmas should be about getting drunk and stoned with the people you love, but we all know how fucking stressful the holidays can get!
In the coming weeks, Julian will be mixing himself a Christmastime rum and coke and answering your questions about the holidays – don’t know how to cook a fucking turkey? Mother-in-law a total bitch? Spent all your gift money on liquor?
Write your Christmas holiday questions to Dear Julian in the comment section below and let your stress melt away! Or don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.