New at swearnet.com

New on swearnet.com – Let’s Build a Liquor Cloud

Somehow, someway, Ricky and Julian survived a multi-ounce 4:20 celebration and they are alive for this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast.

Bubbles is the only clear-headed fucker at the table because he did his best to stay away from the dope-shitstorm that surrounded Ricky in the days leading up to April 20th.  Bubbles brings up some things that happened on this day in history, including the 1918 death of the Red Baron at the hands of a badass Canadian, and the first meeting of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones back in the 1960’s.

They also talk about the absolutely fucked 1989 movie featuring Donald Trump called Ghosts Can’t Do It, which explores the age-old Hollywood cliche of ghost sex!

PLUS: After learning about a very promising tequila invention in Mexico, the Boys wonder if they can create their own liquor cloud!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com – now featuring some classic re-booted merch from yester-fuckin-year!

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New on swearnet.com – Ask Lahey Fuckin Anything!

Lahey sits in his liquor chair with a bottle of liquor

Jim Lahey sits down with a bottle of Liquormen’s and answers fan questions on SwearNet’s latest edition of Ask Me Fucking Anything.  

Lahey and the liquor tackle a wide range of questions including:

  • Would Lahey even consider making nice with Julian and Ricky?
  • How many people has Lahey shot?
  • When was he first attracted to men?
  • What are Randy’s finest qualities?

Lahey also answers a number of questions surrounding the pros and cons of listening to the liquor – we all know, sometimes it can fuck you over big time.

PLUS: Worried about a possible upcoming liquor store strike in Ontario?  Lahey has a very simple solution.

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New on swearnet.com – Dope Trailer Police Chase

Kitty Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles in a getaway car

The kitties might’ve really fucked themselves this time!  Gun fights, dope, and a helicopter police chase will probably result in a lot more than a slap on the wrist on the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats.

Under the direction of Scott Wagner, the TPC team animated this classic scene from the Season 2 finale which starts with Bubbles as the driver of a getaway car but somehow ends with him as an innocent farmer.

If we learn one lesson from this scene, it’s this: Bubbles will NOT harm a kitty just to save a dope trailer!

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New on swearnet.com – IT’S HUNKULES!

The Boys are toasting with some Freedom 35 cansThe Boys got themselves a few DECENT sample cans of Freedom 35 and they’re cracking into them on the latest Trailer Park Boys Podcast — even Julian thinks it’s “good, for a beer!”

You can get this podcast for fucking free in audio form on iTunes and Libsyn!

Ricky is happy with the way he was shown in an intelligent light in Season 11, though Bubbles and Julian dispute that.  The Boys get into a fucked conversation about Julian’s mom’s genitals, as well as John Wayne Bobbitt’s frankencock.  Ricky discusses the differences (or lack thereof) between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, and Bubbles workshops a new tune he calls HUNKULES, written specially for Julian’s muscles.

PLUS: The Boys show off their new Baker skateboards, now available only on TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Operation Midnight Dope

The Boys are sitting in their smokey sack

This episode of Mailbag is hot as fuck, maybe due to all the layers of clothes Mike is wearing, or maybe due to all of the spicy fucking snacks they keep getting in the mail!

The Boys get a very strong early contender for their “Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale” competition, in the form of a fucking rocket ship!  If you want to send in some shit to help decorate the set of Season 12, you gotta get it to sunny Nova Scotia by May 31st!  Click here for details.

They also get a DECENT pitch for growing dope, a mini Snoop, and a knitted hat for Bubbles.

PLUS: The gifts aren’t limited to these three cock knuckles – Lahey and Randy feel the love too!

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New on swearnet.com – Perfectly Contentedly High

The Boys are contentedly high for the release of season 11

On this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys are fuckin’ excited and contentedly high for the release of Season 11!

Though Ricky’s worried that the camera dicks might’ve made him look like an idiot again, the Boys have been eagerly anticipating the March 31st release date on Netflix.  So much, that they are giving away some of THEIR shit from Sunnyvale!  Check out the official contest page to find out how you can win a jar of Bubbles Pizza Sauce, a “Ricky’s Ball Hockey Camp” poster, and a LEGIT Julian rum glass!

Since this is such a DECENT day in the Boys’ calendar, they decided to find out what other DECENT things happened on this day, and they discuss the construction of the Eiffel Tower (which Ricky disputes), Wrestlemania, and the rise to power of a certain dickhead with a moustache.

They also get into a totally fucked conversation about Mr. Hockey, Mr. Sub, Mr. Lube, Mr. Clean, and a few other fucked up misters.

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

Oh yeah, after you finish watching this podcast, TURN ON NETFLIX AND WATCH THE FUCK OUT OF SEASON 11!

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New on swearnet.com – Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale

The Boys are sitting in a smokey mailbag

Alright dickheads, the Boys are back in the sack and they threw out a DECENT contest idea on the latest episode of Mailbag!

Before we know it, the camera dicks will be following Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles again for Season 12. We you arseholes to send some shit to the Mailbag to help decorate Sunnyvale!  If you have something that you think would make a great decoration for the set of Trailer Park Boys, send the cocksucker in and it just might make its way to Sunnyvale!

Contest details: 

  • Send us small shit only – anything that can fit inside a shoebox is good to go.
  • We’ll choose our 10 favourite items and use the cocksuckers on the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12.
  • If we choose your shit, we’ll give you a free year-long subscription to SwearNet.com to say fuckin’ thanks.
  • The deadline is the end of May – we need to receive your shit by May 31st!
  • We will announce the winners on an upcoming episode of Mailbag.
  • Contest open to SwearNet members only.  Please include your username.  If you’re not a member, what the fuck are you waiting for?

Mailbag address:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

ALSO on this episode of Mailbag – the Boys receive some piss jugs from Big Joe’s Biker Rings (the official maker of Trailer Park Boys jewelry), and a DECENT album of kitty songs from Pony Death Ride – including a fucking awesome cover of  Kitties Are So Nice:

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New on swearnet.com – Ricky Wants to Go Back to Jail

Kitty Ricky instructs Kitty Cory and TrevorOn the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats, Ricky’s goal is pretty simple: he wants to go the fuck back to jail.

Whether it’s stealing gas from kitty Jacob, firing off his handgun in a coffee shop parking lot, or stealing an ATM with two fucking stupid Cory and Trevor kitties, Ricky is doing whatever it takes to go the fuck back to jail.  (Un)lucky for him, kitty Julian is right on his heels.

This animated feline take on a DECENT episode from Trailer Park Boys Season 8 comes to you from the fucked mind of Scott Wagner!

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New on swearnet.com – What the Fuck Happened Last Week?!

Ricky thinks the animatronic horse is at least a little bit alive

Well, St. Patrick fucked the Boys hard, and on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys try to piece together what the fuck happened last week.

In an attempt to get last week’s podcash out of the way early, the Boys tried filming it early in the morning before the camera dicks arrived at SwearNet studio.  Unfortunately, Ricky’s special “St. Patrick’s Day” dope sent the Boys down a rabbit hole that ended up fucking over the weekly podcash streak, and somehow resulted in Ricky and Bubbles in the fuckin’ Bahamas.  Julian was spotted going to the gym with some strong young men, but he denies that accusation.

Beyond trying to figure out what the fuck happened last week, the Boys also chat about March 24th borntdays, money making schemes, and Ricky explains his theory about the creation of yoghurt, cheese, and butter.

PLUS: Are meteorites harder than diamonds?

This week’s episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Let the Liquor Do the Bowling

Lahey is no longer banned from the bowling alley

Not all stories can be told from an arm chair.  On today’s episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Lahey takes us out of his liquor parlour and into the Sunnyvale Bowling Alley!

Twenty years ago, in 1997, Lahey was at the top of his bowling game.  Unfortunately, he was not wearing the regulation bowling pants, and was disqualified, robbed of his trophy, and banned from the bowling alley for 20 years.

Well, the shit clock has reached the end of its countdown, and now Lahey is free to return to the bowling alley and right a 20-year-old wrong.

Will he win back his championship?

Will he get drunk as fuck?

Will he wear regulation pants?

Will he wear pants at all?

One thing’s for sure.  He’ll be letting the liquor do the bowling.

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