New at swearnet.com

New on swearnet.com – Fuckin Glum Cunt

the offworld cookery cocks dressed up like mel gibson characters

On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, the three Northern English food cocks are paying tribute to a certifiable film icon, Mel Gibson.

Dressed in garb from Braveheart, Mad Max, and Lethal Weapon, the lads prepare a spread of Mel-meals, including haggis-stuffed duck and a molasses-bread cleverly (?) named “Treacle Weapon.”

This cooking expedition is mentored by a beaver from the Mel Gibson film Beaver.  And this little beaver is full of fucking vitriol, voiced by the actual raving frothing Mel Gibson himself.  What a fucking glum cunt he can be.

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New on swearnet.com – It’s Raining Horse Cocks

The rain is falling heavy in Sunnyvale and the Boys don’t give a fuck on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast.  In fact, it gets them in a singing mood, and they see how many rain-related songs they can rhyme off.  That’s not the only musical segment in the show — Ricky breaks out Achy Breaky Heart after reminiscing his greasy mullet and line dancing phase.

Ricky gets learnt on a few spelling fundamentals, as he discovers the phucked phonetics of the letter “Q” – his mind is fucking blown that it can be found in words such as “liquor” and “conquer.”

Bubbles doesn’t stop there – he debuts a segment that he is working on called Blowing Ricky’s Mind and gets into some straight-up crazy spacey shit that does indeed blow Ricky’s mind.

PLUS: Julian reveals who he would bring with him on a trip to an alien planet… and it’s not Bubbles!

This week’s podcash is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Randy and Lahey Are Coming on Tour?!

Randy says something stupid on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast

Randy reeks and he is satted next to Ricky on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast!

Randy has joined the podcash (along with Mr. Lahey for a brief drunken moment) to announce that they will be visiting the same cities as the Boys are when they go on tour next weekend.  Either Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles didn’t read the contract, or they didn’t check their own fucking tour website, because Lahey and Randy are definitely announced.

After Lahey leaves, the Boys (and fucking Randy) talk about finding Jesus, Titanic replicas, and whether or not icebergs have thoughts.

PLUS: Julian is getting fuckin drunk tonight – it’s Patrick Swayze’s birthday!

This episode of the podcash is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Law and Order

Officer Paul checks Alessandro's prison jump suit for semen with the aid of a black light

Alessandro is fucked now!  He’s in handcuffs under the custody of Office Paul Kerry and Judge Chico on the latest episode of Offworld Cookery.

Violent maniac cop Paul whips up a shitty porridge that is still too good for his prisoners.  Judge Chico pours a bunch of complicated shit into some weird fucking oven thing and somehow produces a decent pork souffle.  Then Alessando, the dead man walking, manages to pull off a dry-but-sweet pan of prison brownies just before his fate is sealed by the judge.

PLUS: If you’ve ever wondered what the blood-alcohol level is on a typical Offworld Cookery filming day, you’re about to find out!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Rudi Invades the Mailbag

For this episode of Mailbag, the Boys are extra baked — and that’s saying something.

In Episode 10 – “The Rudi Episode” – the Boys continue to receive a seemingly never-ending supply of mail from the ever-generous superfan known as Rudi.  JP and Robb are wearing shirts that they already received from Rudi, but more material is on the way, including a country-western necklace for Trinity.  Rudi even makes a suggestion on how to shoot Podcast Episode 100, and his idea about shooting in a different location with lots of cast and crew celebrating Canada’s 150th birthday was actually exactly what we fucking well did for Podcast Episode 100.

Intrigued by Rudi’s devotion to all things Trailer Park Boys, Mike decides to put on his detective cap and makes a phone call to see if he can discover some information about the superfan.

PLUS: The Boys learn about a jam shed, Robb gets some DECENT Ricky, and JP receives the gift of Swayze.

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New on swearnet.com – Pecker vs Beaver

Bubbles flips off Julian

The Boys are pitting woodpeckers vs beavers on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast!

Ricky imagines the amount of damage he could do as a furious woodpecker, including but not limited to destroying the entire electrical grid of New York City.  The Boys wonder if a beaver would be more effective, but Bubbles warns that some beavers are harvested for their cherry-flavoured arseholes.

The Boys also invent a wonderfully new fucked game called “Bush or No Bush” and try to figure out whether or not David Duchovny is shaved clean or perhaps has a little stubble.  And what about Barbara Bush?  Bush or no bush?

Julian gives the gift of The Jim Lahey Show (and Randy) lighter leashes, in the form of giant fucking boxes for Ricky and Bubbles.  Ricky was excited at first, because he used to rock the lighter leash look.  But once he learned that it was official merchandise for Lahey and Randy’s SwearNet talk show, he nearly flipped the fuck out.

This episode of the Canadian Comedy Award’s TOP PODCAST is brought to you by SwearNet.com (sign up for only $4.20), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Robb, JP, and Christine

The Boys are sitting in the mailbag

The Mailbag is back, mother fuckers!  After wrapping Season 12, the Boys are back in the sack.

We’re not sure if the theme of this episode is “fan art” or “the big fuckin Mike Smith gift hour”, because there was a lot of art, but also a lot of shit for Smith.

But don’t worry about JP and Robb – Mailbag MVP Rudi has them covered, and more.  He played a big part in the “Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale” contest, and he doesn’t seem to be ready to quit anytime soon.

PLUS: What in the fuck is with the horse-cock load-bag?!

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New on swearnet.com – Flute Tanners

the Boys are laughing at the podcast table

The Boys are back with another episode of the award-fuckin-winning Trailer Park Boys PodcastThis one, as usual, is sponsored by the dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com, and Bubbles and Ricky have a bone to pick with Julian about the shitty cut he gives to them from merch sales.  They thought there were just “a couple of t-shirts” on the site, but it turns out they are selling everything from grinders to hoodies to even fucking skateboards!

After Julian dodges those questions and refuses to release his tax returns, the Boys talk about lightning-fried cows, Double Fantasy (which Ricky things is a porno), and Kermit the Frog’s sexual organs.

PLUS: Learn about the time Ricky “acquired” a Louis Vuitton handbag for Lucy!

This shitshow is also brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, and Freedom 35 Lager!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Hospital Food

Chico holds his kidney and prepares to cook it

Some people lose a kidney and cry about it.  Not Chico.  On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, he’s making the most of a medical emergency by cooking that fucking organ in a steak and kidney pie.

In their ode to hospital food, the OWC dicks are eating meals out of bed pans, chicken soup from piss jugs, and honing their surgery skills with a spirited and profane round of Operation.

GUEST-STARRING: Absinthe and cock rum.

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New on swearnet.com – Sarah Answers Fucking Anything (Almost)

Sarah answers questions

In the latest video from the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12, Sarah is answering your questions!

She’s answering almost fucking anything, all except for a fucked up fuck/marry/kill scenario that she didn’t want to touch… which in fairness was a FUCKED question.  She talks about how she spends her spare time, whether or not she wants to run the park, and answers a number of romantic questions about Jacob, Cory, Trevor, and… Ricky.

She also reveals how she has somehow stayed so young, after so many taxing fucking years in the park (but adds that she doesn’t really give a fuck about looking young).

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