New at swearnet.com

New on swearnet.com – A Bundle of Cocks

Randy holds a tray of ingredients for cheeseburger calzones

Pour yourself a sippy-poo – you’ll need one for this extremely fucked episode of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy!

Things start out normal enough, with some shit talk and the like.  Lahey introduces a new segment – the “Joke of the Day,” and Randy updates us on the effectiveness of his cheeseburger patch.  They play a record of backwards music, and discuss the dangers of solar flares.

But then, something as innocent as a Randy’s Kitchen segment becomes a shit storm of epic proportions.  As Randy prepares to show the SwearNet audience how to make cheeseburger calzones, he quickly learns a bitter, pissy lesson about over-stepping his boundaries!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Gettin’ Fuck-You’d with Ricky

Ricky is covered by flour

Ricky kicks off Season 2 of Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky in an unexpected way.  Though he planned to dedicate the first episode to building ovens, things go off the rails when he discovers that someone has been fucking with his workshop.

Tools are misplaced, and the plants smell like piss.  Ricky’s not sure who is responsible, but the stoned sleuths at SwearBlog suspect it may have something to do with the newly expanded Randy’s Kitchen set.  Whatever the case, Ricky responds by setting up some Fuck-You traps to fuck over whoever’s been fucking with him.

Best of all, he set up a security camera so that he can watch all of this shit go down!

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New on swearnet.com – The Kitties Need Crab Shampoo

Three animated cats get really baked

The cats are really fucking baked for the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats! 

Kitty Bubbles attempts to go into a laundromat, stoned as fuck, which goes to shit.  Guns are involved in an attempt to get 22 bottles of crab shampoo at the nearby pharmacy, and pretty soon, the cops show up.  But they’re more concerned with the disturbance at the laundromat!

This animated feline take on a DECENT episode from Trailer Park Boys Season 8 comes to you from the fucked mind of Scott Wagner!

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New on swearnet.com – The Sunnyvale Hat Trick

Bubbles shows Ricky a few tricks on the keyboard

If a chicken can play the keyboard, so can Ricky, right?!  Find out on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, because Ricky got a fuckin’ keyboard at the pawn shop and Bubbles shows him a few tricks!

The Boys start the podcash by talking about how they spent Valentine’s Day.  They were all with ladies, but all in uniquely different ways.  Ricky found himself in the middle of what he calls a “hat trick” – he got in a fight, got in a car accident, and got banged.  I guess we can call that a Sunnyvale Hat Trick!

PLUS: It’s the Life Aquatic with Ricky, as he shows us a variety of sea creatures and explains the unique ways in which an octopus evades its predators.

Episode 81 is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com, which has some DECENT clearance sales happening while supplies last!

 

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New on swearnet.com – The Liquor has Returned!

Lahey puts his feet up and enjoys some VAT 69

The liquor shall not sleep, the liquor shall not rest in peace, the liquor shall return!

Liquor Stories with James Lahey returns for a second season, with Mr. Lahey dedicating the first episode to a sippy-poo that is very symbolic of the upper-classity, VAT 69.

Lahey, coming to us from his recently renogulated set, takes a trip down memory lane to New York City in 1984, and the Halifax Harbour in the 1970s, and shares some of the important moments in his life that involved VAT 69.

Hot summer days, drug busts, biker gangs, and sexy Scottish men are all part of VAT 69’s Liquor Story!

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New on swearnet.com – Make Randy’s Kitchen Great Again!

Randy pours Mr. Lahey a drink

Drunky the Fuck Clown and the Cheeseburger Locker are back for a new season of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy, only on SwearNet.com!

On the first episode of the new season, we get a look at the updated set, including a much larger space for Randy’s Kitchen (though maybe he may have encroached on someone else’s territory).  Speaking of Randy and burgers, he’s sporting a Cheeseburger Patch to help curb his cravings and keep him on track to trim down for 2017.

They invite the “greatest guest they’ve ever had” – some guy named Greg that Lahey met at the laundromat.  Greg wows Lahey and Randy with his passion for yo-yos and marijuana-related web domains.

Welcome to the year of the cock!

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New on swearnet.com – Ricky the Discount Dentist?!

Bubbles holds a toy crab

Move over Sam Losco, Sunnyvale has a new greasy discount dentist – Ricky!

On the latest Trailer Park Boys Podcast, Julian fills Ricky’s head with the idea of becoming a self-taught dentist.  How hard can it be?  A dentist is basically just a mechanic for teeth, and we’ve all seen Ricky in action with power tools on Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky. 

The Boys also discuss the differences between a spider and an octopus, the origins of the phrase “milk and honey,” and some manscaping pointers to help avoid crabs.

And then there was this:

Podcash episode 80 is brought to you by the merch dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – How the Fuck to Make Swish

Bubbles and Julian explain how to make swish

Season Two of Dear Julian has been featuring some DECENT guests, none more decent than one of Julian’s best friends on the planet, Bubbles!

On today’s episode, Julian and Bubbles answer fan questions on a number of fucked topics, including the origins of the Green Bastard, how to rip off EI (Employment Insurance, or pogey to most), and the Boys share some stories about Randy as a young dickhead.  You’ll also get a detailed set of instructions for making DIRTY OLD SWISH.

Plus: Ever wonder where Bubbles gets all of his fucking amazing shirts?  Watch this episode to find out!

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New on swearnet.com – Plane Crashes and Penises

Ricky celebrates a Sunnyvale Jeopardy victory

The Boys are so fucking baked for the latest installment of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast that they seem to have time travelled because they think it’s episode 80, when it’s actually just 79.

This very stoned podcash episode features several uncontrollable laughing fits, which Ricky claims can be fixed by smashing something.  As it’s the anniversary of “The Day the Music Died,” the Boys reminisce on the plane crash that took the lives of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper (which Julian correctly points out, is a fucking downer of a topic to discuss while high).  The discussion gets even more fucked when we learn that Ricky completely made up his own back story to Don McLean’s American Pie, which Ricky assumed was a collaboration between Ron MacLean and Don Cherry of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada.

The Boys also chat about the biggest cock in the world, eyeball licking, and dirty Japanese underwear, among other fucky topics.

PLUS: The Boys dust off the buzzers for a quick game of Sunnyvale Jeopardy!

Episode 79 is sponsored by the official Trailer Park Boys Merch Store!

 

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