New at swearnet.com

New on swearnet.com – Ricky Wants to Go Back to Jail

Kitty Ricky instructs Kitty Cory and TrevorOn the latest episode of Trailer Park Cats, Ricky’s goal is pretty simple: he wants to go the fuck back to jail.

Whether it’s stealing gas from kitty Jacob, firing off his handgun in a coffee shop parking lot, or stealing an ATM with two fucking stupid Cory and Trevor kitties, Ricky is doing whatever it takes to go the fuck back to jail.  (Un)lucky for him, kitty Julian is right on his heels.

This animated feline take on a DECENT episode from Trailer Park Boys Season 8 comes to you from the fucked mind of Scott Wagner!

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New on swearnet.com – What the Fuck Happened Last Week?!

Ricky thinks the animatronic horse is at least a little bit alive

Well, St. Patrick fucked the Boys hard, and on this week’s episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys try to piece together what the fuck happened last week.

In an attempt to get last week’s podcash out of the way early, the Boys tried filming it early in the morning before the camera dicks arrived at SwearNet studio.  Unfortunately, Ricky’s special “St. Patrick’s Day” dope sent the Boys down a rabbit hole that ended up fucking over the weekly podcash streak, and somehow resulted in Ricky and Bubbles in the fuckin’ Bahamas.  Julian was spotted going to the gym with some strong young men, but he denies that accusation.

Beyond trying to figure out what the fuck happened last week, the Boys also chat about March 24th borntdays, money making schemes, and Ricky explains his theory about the creation of yoghurt, cheese, and butter.

PLUS: Are meteorites harder than diamonds?

This week’s episode of the podcash is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

 

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New on swearnet.com – Let the Liquor Do the Bowling

Lahey is no longer banned from the bowling alley

Not all stories can be told from an arm chair.  On today’s episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Lahey takes us out of his liquor parlour and into the Sunnyvale Bowling Alley!

Twenty years ago, in 1997, Lahey was at the top of his bowling game.  Unfortunately, he was not wearing the regulation bowling pants, and was disqualified, robbed of his trophy, and banned from the bowling alley for 20 years.

Well, the shit clock has reached the end of its countdown, and now Lahey is free to return to the bowling alley and right a 20-year-old wrong.

Will he win back his championship?

Will he get drunk as fuck?

Will he wear regulation pants?

Will he wear pants at all?

One thing’s for sure.  He’ll be letting the liquor do the bowling.

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New on swearnet.com – State of the Union for March 21st!

The Boys are tired on the couch

Vacations are supposed to be restful, right?  Well no matter how you relax, coming back to work always kicks the shit out of you.  The Boys are back from vacation after filming Out of the Park: USA, and they’re serving up another SWEARNET STATE OF THE UNION!

Robb is recovering from a very happy birthday yesterday, and Mike is doing his best “creepy Scottish puppet” routine to keep the mood (fucked) up.  The Boys serve up some updates on Out of the Park: USA, the mobile game, the Freedom 35 beer launch in Toronto, and last week’s podcast fuck-around, among other fuckin’ news.

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New on swearnet.com – Dream a Little Liquor Dream of Me

Lahey answers a call during a late-night Liquor Stories taping

The latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey is a journey so deep into Lahey’s liquor brain that you may fear you will never return to your normal life.

After having a late-night “epissany,” Lahey wakes from a deep sleep and decides he needs to rush to SwearNet studios to record a late-night Liquor Stories to impart a mountain of shit-knowledge on the SwearNet audience.

No Chipper, no problem, Lahey can operate his own camera. He proceeds to launch into a dimly-lit magnum shit-opus of epic proportions. Old Man Liquor offers rules to live by, and his unstoppable train of thought is only interrupted twice – once for a phone call, and once for a mean fuckin’ swig of Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky.

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New on swearnet.com – Blah, Blah, Blah, It’s Alex Lifeson!

The Boys chat with Alex Lifeson in front of a wall of guitars

What do you get when you combine Memphis, Gibson Guitars, and Alex Lifeson?  The greatest fucking episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, that’s what!

On this week’s podcash, legendary Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson sits down with the Boys in the Gibson Guitar Factory in Memphis, Tennessee!  Ricky and Alex seem to have made up since the unfortunate incident that took place when Ricky borrowed/abducted Alex back when Rush was playing a gig in Halifax.

The Boys chat with Alex about his signature Gibson Les Paul guitar, and ask him what life is like now that Rush has stopped touring (including an open invitation to serve as the lead guitarist for Bubbles and the Shitrockers).  They also discuss Alex’s totally fucked acceptance speech at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, funny stories from the road, and Alex’s many multi-lingual guitars.  We even get a taste of some new material he’s working on, though it’s most likely just the fucked up ramblings of a man totally fucked on secret mushrooms from Ricky.

PLUS: Find out Alex’s preferred method of cooking goat.

Trailer Park Boys Podcast episode 84 is brought to you by the dicks at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!

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New on swearnet.com – Do Ghosts Exist, and Do They Bang People?

podcast-83-splash

The Boys (well, Ricky and his blowtorch) kick of March, the “month of fire”, with a supernatural episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast.

After somehow stumbling into a conversation about “sex ghosts” that bang humans, Bubbles skeptically invites any ghost of any gender and any sexual orientation to come into his shed at night and bang him.  This, despite clear evidence from Ricky and Julian that sex ghosts are real (including a real-life story about Bobby Brown banging a ghost).

The Boys also celebrate the birthday of Stompin’ Tom Connors, try to figure out the best ways to remove dead cockroaches from one’s ear, and question whether or not Bubbles has the hacking skills to fuck over the bank accounts of major oil companies.

PLUS: Ricky and Julian dust off their Jeopardy buzzers and have an epic showdown in a category they love: LIQUOR!  Stakes are high — the loser must take Randy out to dinner!

Episode 83 is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com and APRIL fuckin’ WINE!

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New on swearnet.com – Gettin’ Donaired with Ricky

GLWR---splash---donair

Roll a joint and mix some stiff drinks, because this episode of Gettin’ Learnt with Ricky features a recipe that is PERFECT for your next drunk and stoned trailer park party!

Ricky puts together HaliDip, a dip based on the legendary Halifax donair.  If you’ve ever been liquored in Halifax, your night has probably ended up at a donair shop.  The fucking city actually named the greasy bastard the official food of Halifax.  The gyro-esque wrap is delicious but messy as fuck, which prompted a Nova Scotian blogger to create a DECENT dip to make it easier to get ‘er in ya.

Ricky takes us through the process of making donair meat, building your own spit, creating the sexually suggestive donair sauce, and then turning the whole fucking thing into HaliDip!

PLUS: Ricky reviews the security tape to find out which fucker(s) fell victim to his booby traps!

GLWR-donair

 

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New on swearnet.com – Young Lahey Finds Himself in Italy

Lahey passed out in front of a large knot

Lahey looks back on a trip of discovery he took as a young man in the latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey.  

He was young, he had long hair, and he has feeling pressure to become a cop, just like his old man, and just like his old man’s old man.  That’s when he decided he needed to go find himself.  He certainly did, in a big fuckin way, in Italy.

Learn how a special liquor led him to losing his virginity (twice), how he nearly lost his balls, and how he found himself running with the bulls.

PLUS: In a totally random drunken tangent, you’ll also learn how to tie a handy fuckin’ nautical knot!

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New on swearnet.com – The Man About Town

podcast-82-splash

If you can see through the thick fucking dope smoke, you’ll love this week’s edition of Trailer Park Boys Podcast!  The Boys, especially Bubbles, get stoned as fuck this week.

The weed seemed to activate Ricky’s brain cells, as he actually comes out with some intellectually compelling questions about the earth’s crust and knighthood, but then dips back into the stupid when he ponders how grocery stores can have so many eggs available when it takes a chicken nine months to lay an egg.

The Boys chat about Wayne Gretzky’s stellar hockey records, and Bubbles brags about his prowess on the ice when he was a young dickhead.  But he changes the topic pretty quick when Julian asks him if he’d ever bang Gretzky.

This week’s fucked episode is brought to you by TrailerParkBoysMerch.com, which has free shipping available this weekend!

 

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