After somehow stumbling into a conversation about “sex ghosts” that bang humans, Bubbles skeptically invites any ghost of any gender and any sexual orientation to come into his shed at night and bang him. This, despite clear evidence from Ricky and Julian that sex ghosts are real (including a real-life story about Bobby Brown banging a ghost).
The Boys also celebrate the birthday of Stompin’ Tom Connors, try to figure out the best ways to remove dead cockroaches from one’s ear, and question whether or not Bubbles has the hacking skills to fuck over the bank accounts of major oil companies.
PLUS: Ricky and Julian dust off their Jeopardy buzzers and have an epic showdown in a category they love: LIQUOR! Stakes are high — the loser must take Randy out to dinner!
Ricky puts together HaliDip, a dip based on the legendary Halifax donair. If you’ve ever been liquored in Halifax, your night has probably ended up at a donair shop. The fucking city actually named the greasy bastard the official food of Halifax. The gyro-esque wrap is delicious but messy as fuck, which prompted a Nova Scotian blogger to create a DECENT dip to make it easier to get ‘er in ya.
Ricky takes us through the process of making donair meat, building your own spit, creating the sexually suggestive donair sauce, and then turning the whole fucking thing into HaliDip!
PLUS: Ricky reviews the security tape to find out which fucker(s) fell victim to his booby traps!
He was young, he had long hair, and he has feeling pressure to become a cop, just like his old man, and just like his old man’s old man. That’s when he decided he needed to go find himself. He certainly did, in a big fuckin way, in Italy.
Learn how a special liquor led him to losing his virginity (twice), how he nearly lost his balls, and how he found himself running with the bulls.
PLUS: In a totally random drunken tangent, you’ll also learn how to tie a handy fuckin’ nautical knot!
The whole world is about to learn something that SwearNet fans have known for a long time: Kaitlin and Laura from Cheap Smokes have a really fucked sense of humour, but it’s fucked in the best possible way.
Holy fuck, an album. That must be a lot of work. Tell us a bit about what goes into creating a comedy album!
Kaitlin – It was definitely a challenge for us because anyone who’s seen our act knows that we are very physical comedians. So it was hard to find sketches that were mainly about the funny things we were saying…and not just Kaitlin running around as a fuckin’ pee goblin wearing a beard and a witch nose. The whole process took us over a year to complete. We had to meticulously go through every take of every track and edit and find what worked and what didn’t and have sound effects added at the exact right time etc etc. It was a lot of work which makes us really proud that it’s finally ready!
Laura – It was a lot of work but we had an amazing team. Comedy Records is pretty amazing. When we listened to our first recordings, we were a bit worried about the album. Recording a sketch album is a lot different than recording a stand-up album. With stand-up, you really just need good sound and an audience. With sketch, you have to add in a bunch of sounds and cues because there is no live audience.
What kind of material can we expect on this album? Will we hear from any of our favourite characters from your material on SwearNet.com like Heather or Jean Marie?
Kaitlin – You MAY hear from a certain Chip and Candace…and perhaps the Mom Wine characters make a bit of an appearance. On this album you can expect a lot of the same sophomoric, silly humor and zany characters that Cheap Smokes is known for. It’s just really fun and silly and sexy (but gross sexy). What else would you expect?
Drunk on Mom Wine
Laura – You can expect only political and high brow humor. There will be absolutely no fart or poop jokes. There will be no dating jokes or self deprecating humor or making fun of “Valley Girls.” Okay… I’m lying. This album doesn’t have a specific style, it’s just us… if that makes sense. Whatever we loved and thought would be good for a non visual album, we recorded it.
Are there any classic comedy albums out there that might’ve inspired or guided you to make one of your own?
Laura – Our dear friends, who are also a duo came out with an album last year based out of New York. The album Rick and Chuck (Jay and Eyton) is so hilarious you will actually have to change your pants. A lot of great Canadian comics have recorded albums recently and we though we could do the same. We looked at all our non physical material we had and said, why not?
What the fuck have you been up to since we last saw you on SwearNet.com? Could you tell us about your live show?
Kaitlin – What have we been up to? Well Laura got a sex change, so that was a huge deal. But really we’ve just been writing and performing and working. We have a project going on with The Boys and we will see where it ends up. Our live show is always very over-the-top physical, ridiculous humour. If you’re an audience member you should know you’re not safe because we may bring you up onstage and fuck with you… literally.
Kaitlin – We love those fuckers with all of our hearts! I don’t think SwearNet fans realize how hard those guys really work. Each of them is working on at least 10 different things at any moment. On top of all the work they had to do with TPB, they had to run around Halifax filming us stupid morons in sexy hot dog suits getting rickshaw rides from strange men. Nicole is a genius, Hannah and Chipper work harder than anyone I know, and Zan the sound guy was our protector and would karate chop anyone who gave us a hard time. Preston is a big old teddy bear that loves boxed wine, but he does try really hard to be a dick.
Laura – Working with all the drunk and stoned idiots at SwearNet was actually one of the best times of my life. I know that sounds lame but it really was. The first time when we went and played in the studio while the boys were on tour, we were there for an entire month. They became a family to us. Father Preston, sister Hannah, Protector Zan, cousin Chipper. One time when we were filming “Stoned Movie Reviews” Chipper got us SO high that I actually wanted to die. We were so in our heads, we couldn’t drive home we were that wrecked. I kept thinking, “What if my Dad saw me right now, he would so not be proud?” We will never smoke Chipper’s stuff ever again. Preston is SO far from a dick he’s a pussy. Kidding, he is a sweet teddy bear that never wears pants.
What’s next for Cheap Smokes?
Kaitlin – We have a lot of coals in the fire*…is that a fucking saying? We have a lot of stuff in the works that we can’t quite talk about yet. We will see what happens in the next few months. Hopefully big things. We’ve been at this comedy thing for almost a decade so hopefully someday soon I can have a bit of money and finally get that thing on my car fixed that sounds like a dying cat.
Where can your fans buy your fucking album?
Kaitlin – It’s available on iTunes as of TODAY Friday February 24th. The album is Cheap Smokes “IDIOTT’S”….and yes we meant to spell it that way, Jesus CHRIST! Please go download it now, its fuckin’ hilarious. Buy it for your grandma, she’ll love it! Thanks to SwearNet fans for all your love and support. xoxo Cheap Smokes. (Except Stomachworm….you suck).
Buy the fucking album IDIOTT’S on iTunes by clicking here!
Check out more Cheap Smokes fuckery on their YouTube channel.
*Editor’s note: “We have a lot of coals in the fire” is not a fucking saying.
The weed seemed to activate Ricky’s brain cells, as he actually comes out with some intellectually compelling questions about the earth’s crust and knighthood, but then dips back into the stupid when he ponders how grocery stores can have so many eggs available when it takes a chicken nine months to lay an egg.
The Boys chat about Wayne Gretzky’s stellar hockey records, and Bubbles brags about his prowess on the ice when he was a young dickhead. But he changes the topic pretty quick when Julian asks him if he’d ever bang Gretzky.
Things start out normal enough, with some shit talk and the like. Lahey introduces a new segment – the “Joke of the Day,” and Randy updates us on the effectiveness of his cheeseburger patch. They play a record of backwards music, and discuss the dangers of solar flares.
But then, something as innocent as a Randy’s Kitchen segment becomes a shit storm of epic proportions. As Randy prepares to show the SwearNet audience how to make cheeseburger calzones, he quickly learns a bitter, pissy lesson about over-stepping his boundaries!
Holy flyin’ fuck boys, she’s nearly here! We’re pleased as fuck to announce that Ricky, Julian, Bubbles and the residents of Sunnyvale Trailer Park are BACK with a new adventure on Netflix from Friday March 31 – and they’re bringing along a fuckload of dope, guns, liquor, and free-range kitties!
Take a look back at some of the blog posts we did back when the crew dicks were filming Season 11, including a wrap-up of our Instagram day, or parts one and two of our interviews with the cocksuckers behind the cameras!
Tell your friends and get the liquor in… it’s gonna be SCRUMPDILLY!
Tools are misplaced, and the plants smell like piss. Ricky’s not sure who is responsible, but the stoned sleuths at SwearBlog suspect it may have something to do with the newly expanded Randy’s Kitchen set. Whatever the case, Ricky responds by setting up some Fuck-You traps to fuck over whoever’s been fucking with him.
Best of all, he set up a security camera so that he can watch all of this shit go down!
It’s a bonanza of keyboards, Valentine’s Day, and marine life on the latest episode of the Trailer Park Boys Podcast, now available in audio form on iTunes and Libsyn!
After discussing how they spent their Valentine’s Day (Ricky had a Sunnyvale Hat Trick – he got in a fight, got in a car accident, and got banged), the Boys chat about more ways to make money, with Julian thinking about becoming a bed-warming pimp cuddler.
Ricky busts out a new keyboard he got at the pawn shop, and Bubbles shows him some DECENT tips and tricks to help Ricky catch up to the piano-playing chicken. Ricky doesn’t stop there – he also tests his vocal skills by singing some Beatles!
PLUS: Ricky shows us how the brilliant octopus avoids predators via self-decapitation!