On today’s episode of Dear Julian, we get some advice on surviving an early-mid-life crisis, how to trick the stupid fucking cops that pull you over for smoking dope, and how to advertise greasy new bars!
We also get Julian’s take on modern fuckin technology. How is it impacting his line of work? What are his opinions of hackers? Now that everyone has goddamn cameras in their pockets, is it hard to pull off greasy shit?
PLUS: We learn some serious rum lessons, particularly when it comes to driving!
Julian is in a positive mood for today’s episode of Dear Julian, despite some of you pricks deciding it’s ok to call him Swayze!
Julian sips on a rum and coke and answers fan questions about whisky-dick threesomes, lending money to friends who want to make a rap record, the sexiest places for ladies to get tattoos, and much more.
He also explains why his last name is secret (and it’s NOT fucking SWAYZE).
PLUS: How in the fuck can a Maritimer like Jules hate seafood?!
The latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey is a journey so deep into Lahey’s liquor brain that you may fear you will never return to your normal life.
After having a late-night “epissany,” Lahey wakes from a deep sleep and decides he needs to rush to SwearNet studios to record a late-night Liquor Stories to impart a mountain of shit-knowledge on the SwearNet audience.
No Chipper, no problem, Lahey can operate his own camera. He proceeds to launch into a dimly-lit magnum shit-opus of epic proportions. Old Man Liquor offers rules to live by, and his unstoppable train of thought is only interrupted twice – once for a phone call, and once for a mean fuckin’ swig of Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky.
Bubbles is back at the fancy glass table for another guest appearance on Dear Julian.
On this episode, Julian and Bubbles answer a range of questions on fucked up topics such as feeding your dog Prozac, half-naked landlords, and dealing with guns pointed in your face.
Plus: find out about the weirdest thing the Boys ever smoked out of!
Season Two of Dear Julian has been featuring some DECENT guests, none more decent than one of Julian’s best friends on the planet, Bubbles!
On today’s episode, Julian and Bubbles answer fan questions on a number of fucked topics, including the origins of the Green Bastard, how to rip off EI (Employment Insurance, or pogey to most), and the Boys share some stories about Randy as a young dickhead. You’ll also get a detailed set of instructions for making DIRTY OLD SWISH.
Plus: Ever wonder where Bubbles gets all of his fucking amazing shirts? Watch this episode to find out!
Alright dickheads, we want more questions for upcoming episodes of Dear Julian.
Since we started the second season, Bubbles and Ricky seem to have found their way onto the set. Julian doesn’t want them around all the fucking time, it’s still called DEAR JULIAN for fuck sakes, but you never know when they might show up. So include questions for those two shit weasels too if it tickles your fucking fancy!
Trying to figure out how to fuck over the tax man this tax season?
Want to learn how to roll the perfect six-paper joint?
Can’t stop your kitty from humping your fucking leg?
It’s that time of the year again, when everyone – your uncle, grandmother, teenage nephew, get drunk as fuck for Christmas. This might stress some people out, but luckily Julian has you covered with his second instalment of Christmas advice on Dear Julian!
Julian offers advice on stealing Christmas trees, and answers the age-old holiday question: what to do when someone drowns your rum in fucking eggnog!
Alright dicks, the SwearNet crew is going to be hungover as fuck for the first part of January, but as soon as the fog lifts, we’ll be filming new episodes of all your favourite SwearNet shows!
If you have a problem for 2017 that needs solving, let us know by commenting below. Julian (or maybe even Ricky and Bubbles) will be happy to sort you the fuck out!
Got a plan to change your life in 2017? Looking for advice on sticking to a New Year’s resolution? Want to have gorgeous muscles yet still drink rum all day? Send your questions our way!
Dear Julian is back with answers to your fucking questions, including solutions on pacing yourself on hard liquor, how to bang your way out of a broken heart, and whether or not you should get hammered and go hunting.
Plus: we all have that friend. Someone who is a decent dude until he gets drunk at the bar, then he starts shit, trying to get into fights. Julian was once that person, and he has advice on how to calm things the fuck down.
On this episode of Dear Julian, Julian tackles the big question that only he can answer: how to balance a love of booze with a desire to be a successful businessman.
Plus, he makes suggestions on how to drink rum and coke and avoid the calories, how to ask women on dates, and what to do if you’re faced with romancing a woman with fucked up hygiene.