Tag Archive for Cheap Smokes

New on swearnet.com – The Coke… er… Cocktale Hour is Back!

Svetlana and Vivian are answering your sex questionsThe Cocktale Hour is back and Vivian and Svetlana are taking YOUR sex questions!  And who better to answer, than a couple of Eastern-European ex-porn stars?  They’ve seen and done and had-done-to-them everything under the sun!

Vivian also shares some stories about her affinity for wildlife, and Svetlana shares similar stories about her affinity for Vivian’s family.

This latest instalment of Cheap Smokes is brought to you by a couple of dirty Slippery Nipples and excessive amounts of cocaine!

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New on swearnet.com – Heather’s Looking for a Date

Heather's on a date!

Has Heather been living under a rock?  Actually, yes, she has.

With a good solid hibernation behind her, Heather has awoken with a hunger for LOVIN’, and she’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants.  All she needs is a smartphone (doesn’t have one) with a Tinder account (she’ll need to get some help with that), and NEXT STOP, ROMANCE!

So… what is Heather?  A samsquamptch of some sort?  A magnet maker?  Who the fuck knows, but if you’d like to see a day in her life, check out this episode of Cheap Smokes to get a bit of background information on this sexy beast!

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New on swearnet.com: Jean Marie Is an ASSet!

Jean Marie splash

We’ve all been there – you feel like you’ve been doing the same job forever, with no raise, and no appreciation.  That’s how Jean Marie feels in her dead-end job at SwearNet studios, and she wants a promotion, damn it!

If Preston and company can’t see that she is an ASSet, then she’s going to show them that she’s an asset, YOU BET!  In the newest episode of Cheap Smokes, Jean Marie goes above and beyond to prove that she’s the best at… mopping walls?

If you’re like most of us at SwearNet and you are unsure about what the fuck Jean Marie actually does, you can check out an earlier video which chronicles a day in her life.  You still won’t have a fucking clue about her job, or if she even actually has one, but it’ll be fun to watch.

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New on swearnet.com – One Night Stand

Kaitlin had a 1 night stand

What’s worse about the morning after a one night stand: the hangover, or trying to avoid the random greasy bastard that you banged?

Against some noisy odds, Kaitlin tries her best to vanish without waking anybody up.  Will she succeed?  Will she have to face her fears?  Will she grab a few snacks on the way out?  Watch the latest episode of Cheap Smokes to find out!

Of course, this isn’t the first time one of the girls had a rough morning-after – who could forget Laura dealing with the dreaded skid marks?!

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Now on swearnet.com: Surprised Ya!

A robbery at a car rental store

Poor Ashley.  Sometimes life can get stuck in a rut and you find yourself with very little to get excited about.  That was Ashley’s life, until a robber busted into her car rental shop with a gun!

Will Ashley step up and release her inner hero?  Will her life so from bland to BAAAAAM?!  Or will some fucked up shit happen instead?

This is Cheap Smokes.  Our money is on “some fucked up shit”…

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New on swearnet.com: Pickles and Jelly try Horse Tranquilizer

Pickles and Jelly try horse tranqulizer

Silly scamps Pickles and Jelly sure are adventurous!  In this episode, they’re trying Special K, aka Ketamine, aka Horse Tranquilizer!

They also learn about the differences between photography and pornography, and sing the boner song!  Can the girls keep it together to sing the Drugs are Bad song when the kindergarteners show up?

Today’s episode is brought to you by the word of the day: LESBIANS!

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New on swearnet.com: The Morning Show Has Fallen to Shit

These girls are fucked

Fifty bucks.  That’s how much the operating budget was for The Morning Show, which eventually changed to Top of the Afternoon to You!, because the girls couldn’t get out of fucking bed on time.

That fifty bucks is all gone now, and then some, and the show has crumbled to Top O’ the After-Oon to Ya!, because the goddamn cheap letters keep falling off the wall.

But the ladies are in luck – they have enough MOM WINE (now with tequila) to drink away their sorrows in style.  Plus – we get a fashion tutorial on zombie makeup, and a stoned review of Deep Throat!

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New on swearnet.com: A Day in the Life of Jean Marie

Greasy SwearNet janitor Jean Marie

She claims she’s a janitor and she claims she’s banged nearly every staff member at SwearNet studios — and in the newest episode of Cheap Smokes, you get to witness a day in the fucked up life of Jean Marie!

When we first met Jean Marie back in January, it was just the appetizer.  Get ready for the full-fucking-course meal, because Jean Marie paid Cheap Smoke’s Laura $250 to film Jean Marie’s life, and it’s a horror story.

Jean Marie takes you on a tour of SwearNet studios, with cameos from the Boys, Preston, Chipper (stoned as FUCK), and many more SwearDicks.

But… aside from trying to blow everybody, what does Jean Marie actually do at SwearNet?!

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New on swearnet.com: Pickles & Jelly Try Mushrooms!

Pickles, Jelly, and Hippie Ted trip out

Cheap Smokes is back with something for the kids… Pickles and Jelly are visited by their stinky friend Hippie Ted!  Pickles and Jelly love magic, and they’re in luck because Hippie Ted is going to send them off to imagination land with his magic mushrooms.  In an Arts and Farts and Crafts segment, Hippie Ted gives us the ins & outs of buying shrooms, eating them on pizza, and some advice on STAYING NORMAL – something ol’ Jelly could use!

PLUS: Two musical numbers!  The Masturbation Rap and Puppy Dog are a couple of tunes you won’t soon forget.

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