Pat’s been back at the studio for quite a while now, but for all the time and money spent on his work, there really seems to be fuck all for content. Last week we watched him eat his lunch. Then, he put together a video of himself taking a nap, which turned out to be the last straw for Robb, JP, and Mike.
On today’s episode, they confront him and try to motivate him to get his shit together. Though they may also be planning to fuck with him. Only time will fuckin’ tell!
The Boys have given Pat his own private space in SwearNet Studios where he can set up a personal gym and get into shape. There’s just one problem – not one miserable fucker at SwearNet will help him move the equipment up the stairs to his workout room.
Will Pat’s positivity prevail? Why in the fuck can’t Hugh the Office Dick lift anything? Will Pat ever look like JP? Tune in and find out!
After quitting liquor and donairs cold turkey, Pat drives into his first day of work with a positive attitude. However, his upbeat attitude is tested when the Boys show him his work space, and lay out his tasks for the day.
In the last episode, Pat told the Boys over the phone that he has been busy working out, banging, and holding down a job. But Robb, JP, and Mike quickly learn that Pat’s been bullshitting them. Truth is, he’s been drinking, eating donairs, playing video games, and probably beating off most of the time.
So the Boys pitch an idea for Pat to both get out of his funk, and also create some create SwearNet content.
Mike eventually wants Pat back in the SwearMan suit, but he is met with resistance. Will we ever see SwearMan again?!
The Boys are busy as fuck and Christmas is around the corner, but SwearNet needs more fucking content so Mike fires up the cameras and resumes the Real Fucking Reality Show! Luckily, they’re going to have some help, in the form of Pat fucking Roach.
Mike dug out Pat’s old contract, and it turns out that foul-mouthed fucker owes the Boys six more months of work at SwearNet!
Can the Boys tear Pat away from his personal trainer? Will SwearMan return? Does Chipper actually get stoned at work? Tune into the Real Fucking Reality Show to find out!
He tackles a wide range of topics, from dealing with your buddy’s new girlfriend, to standing up to a gun in your face, to some insight on what Bubbles might be cooking up for a new SwearNet show. He also answers an age-old question that keeps many Trailer Park Boys fans up at night: how in the fuck does he keep his ice from melting?
Everything is going perfectly, until Chipper fucks the whole thing up.
It was a New Year’s celebration so fucking epic and liquor-soaked that Lahey and Randy are only just recovering now (Lahey had a brunch of liquorball sandwiches that seem to clear the fog).
Now you can listen FOR FUCKING FREE to the audio version of the New Year’s Eve shit-show on iTunes and Libsyn.
This episode features a pledge from Randy to eat more beef and bacon but to cut down on the size of his burger guns — high protein and low carbs. It also features the return of Marguerite, who is fucking pissed because a certain drunk-as-fuck trailer park supervisor failed to follow through on a promise he made to Marguerite when she joined the Christmas episode of the Lahey and Randy show.
But the fuckin fun don’t stop there – even more guests join the show! A Halifax radio host returns with a fierce passion, and the office dicks at SwearNet find themselves dragged in front of the camera by Lahey for a liquored sing-along!
Randy reflects on 2016 and makes some resolutions for the new year — more burger, less bun! Speaking of burgers, Randy’s Kitchen features the “New Year’s Burger” made up of holiday leftovers, with plenty of vegetables (onion rings).
Plus: a range of guests stop by – Marguerite (and she’s PISSED), Bobby Mac (and he’s FIRED UP), and the whole fucking SwearNet crew sing a few holiday tunes.
Even though it’s simply three drunk and stoned idiots talking shit, a lot work goes into the production of the podcast. Usually, it’s broadcasted from the comforts of Ricky’s kitchen, but in order to stick to a schedule (and keep Julian’s greasy sponsors happy), the Boys don’t let their busy touring schedule get in the way. They’ve podcasted from such far-flung places as Central Park in New York City, Hollywood, and fuckin’ Finland!
“We thought we were fucked to begin with,” says Preston. “Normally you secure the proper paperwork for that kind of thing, but we didn’t have the time, so we just went for it. Bright lights, a camera crew, open liquor, and Bubbles calling out to people he thought were Conan O’Brien. The Boys are used to jail, I’m not, I thought we were fucked.”
Thankfully, they made it to a place where everybody knows your name before Boston’s finest showed up.
Highs and Lows
Sometimes, the Boys travel to places where the cops just don’t give a fuck.
“Oh man, the giggle fit inAmsterdam,” recalls Chipper. “We were all so high and in the perfect mood. When Ricky started talking about the goddamn swans we all lost our shit. What you saw on camera was all real reactionary laughter. They even called me out because I couldn’t stop fuckin’ laughing off camera.”
The Boys agree — on the one-year anniversary podcast, they declared the Amsterdam episode to be the highest they’ve ever been on the podcash.
Vincent van Go Fuck Yourself
But it’s not all dope and cops — the Podcast is also an opportunity for the Boys to display their many talents.
“Anytime Ricky draws or paints is the best,” says Hannah. “There was one episode when Ricky started talking about ‘Vincent van GoPro’ and got all confused about exactly which body part he cut off, it was some weird shit.”
Ricky is not just a whiz with the paintbrush, he’s also a decent fucking chef. Or at least, he thinks so.
“I liked Ricky’s Choco-bananee-salmoken recipe, I’d like to see him make that on Master Chef,” says Tiggy. “But perhaps not his version of turducken, that was fucked.”
Podcasting Is a Safety Hazard
Though it’s been an extremely successful inaugural year of theTrailer Park Boys Podcast, it hasn’t come without its bumps and bruises.
Ricky nearly burned the studio down while trying to celebrate the one-year borntday, but that is just one slice of the danger-pepperoni. In fact, Ricky is lucky to have survived this year.
With all this momentum behind them, even the strongest shit winds can’t slow down the Trailer Park BoysPodcast. Be sure to tune into year two of this cockery! You can watch the video version by subscribing to SwearNet, or if you prefer to listen to the audio version (or maybe you’re a cheap fucker), you can listen to it on iTunes and Libsyn.
When we first met Jean Marie back in January, it was just the appetizer. Get ready for the full-fucking-course meal, because Jean Marie paid Cheap Smoke’s Laura $250 to film Jean Marie’s life, and it’s a horror story.
Jean Marie takes you on a tour of SwearNet studios, with cameos from the Boys, Preston, Chipper (stoned as FUCK), and many more SwearDicks.
But… aside from trying to blow everybody, what does Jean Marie actually do at SwearNet?!