“Sir” tries to teach “The Boy” a lesson as the two fucks put together a meal worthy of the dog shit caliber of school lunches – fucking fish sticks. But they don’t forget that they are grown up, and they turn milk time and science class into proper adult fuckery with the help of liquor and dope.
PLUS: Once “Sir” has enough of “The Boy,” the two clash in an epic showdown!
He tackles a wide range of topics, including a bunch of questions surrounding the events of Season 10 — does he keep in touch with Snoop Dogg? Could he beat him in another smoke-off? Does he want to fight Tom Arnold for stealing away Lucy? Speaking of Lucy, is he now on the dating scene?
He also discusses his childhood dreams. What did he want to be when he grew up? Ricky doesn’t just discuss his own aspirations — he also shares Bubbles and Julian’s career goals.
PLUS: Ricky reveals the most amount of pepperoni he’s ever eaten in a single sitting!
The Offworld Cookery dicks wake up bright and early in the middle of the forest and decide it’s time to throw together a proper English breakfast (though this fucking meal has enough rum and dope in it to pass as a Sunnyvale breakfast)!
Along with breakfast, the lads cleanse their face holes for your amusement, and they abuse the legendary croissant, mocking its fucked continental origins. We see how the sausage is made, and we catch a glimpse of an extremely dangerous-looking outdoor oven.
PLUS: What is an ‘unholy lasagna of the netherworld,’ and what does it taste like?!
A while back, the Boys asked you crazy fuckers to send in some props and trinkets and silly shit that they can use to decorate the set of Trailer Park Boys Season 12. They’ll pick their top 10 at the end of the month. There’s still a bit of time to get your shit in the mail, so put down that joint and get to the post office! Click here for details and our fucking address!
Competition is stiffer than Randy in a Blandford play, with the Boys receiving a bubble maker for Bubbles’ shed, art supplies for Ricky’s trailer, and some DECENT records from Mountain Music Vinyl!
PLUS: Holy fuck, is it possible the drug-sniffing drugs at Canadian Customs got stoned because they’re sniffing drugs all day? Because they missed a big one here…
Bubbles is the only clear-headed fucker at the table because he did his best to stay away from the dope-shitstorm that surrounded Ricky in the days leading up to April 20th. Bubbles brings up some things that happened on this day in history, including the 1918 death of the Red Baron at the hands of a badass Canadian, and the first meeting of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones back in the 1960’s.
They also talk about the absolutely fucked 1989 movie featuring Donald Trump called Ghosts Can’t Do It, which explores the age-old Hollywood cliche of ghost sex!
PLUS: After learning about a very promising tequila invention in Mexico, the Boys wonder if they can create their own liquor cloud!
The Boys get a very strong early contender for their “Help Us Decorate Sunnyvale” competition, in the form of a fucking rocket ship! If you want to send in some shit to help decorate the set of Season 12, you gotta get it to sunny Nova Scotia by May 31st! Click here for details.
They also get a DECENT pitch for growing dope, a mini Snoop, and a knitted hat for Bubbles.
PLUS: The gifts aren’t limited to these three cock knuckles – Lahey and Randy feel the love too!
The weed seemed to activate Ricky’s brain cells, as he actually comes out with some intellectually compelling questions about the earth’s crust and knighthood, but then dips back into the stupid when he ponders how grocery stores can have so many eggs available when it takes a chicken nine months to lay an egg.
The Boys chat about Wayne Gretzky’s stellar hockey records, and Bubbles brags about his prowess on the ice when he was a young dickhead. But he changes the topic pretty quick when Julian asks him if he’d ever bang Gretzky.
Drunky the Fuck Clown and the Cheeseburger Locker are back for a new season of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy, only on SwearNet.com!
On the first episode of the new season, we get a look at the updated set, including a much larger space for Randy’s Kitchen (though maybe he may have encroached on someone else’s territory). Speaking of Randy and burgers, he’s sporting a Cheeseburger Patch to help curb his cravings and keep him on track to trim down for 2017.
They invite the “greatest guest they’ve ever had” – some guy named Greg that Lahey met at the laundromat. Greg wows Lahey and Randy with his passion for yo-yos and marijuana-related web domains.