Not all stories can be told from an arm chair. On today’s episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Lahey takes us out of his liquor parlour and into the Sunnyvale Bowling Alley!
Twenty years ago, in 1997, Lahey was at the top of his bowling game. Unfortunately, he was not wearing the regulation bowling pants, and was disqualified, robbed of his trophy, and banned from the bowling alley for 20 years.
Well, the shit clock has reached the end of its countdown, and now Lahey is free to return to the bowling alley and right a 20-year-old wrong.
Will he win back his championship?
Will he get drunk as fuck?
Will he wear regulation pants?
Will he wear pants at all?
One thing’s for sure. He’ll be letting the liquor do the bowling.
The latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey is a journey so deep into Lahey’s liquor brain that you may fear you will never return to your normal life.
After having a late-night “epissany,” Lahey wakes from a deep sleep and decides he needs to rush to SwearNet studios to record a late-night Liquor Stories to impart a mountain of shit-knowledge on the SwearNet audience.
No Chipper, no problem, Lahey can operate his own camera. He proceeds to launch into a dimly-lit magnum shit-opus of epic proportions. Old Man Liquor offers rules to live by, and his unstoppable train of thought is only interrupted twice – once for a phone call, and once for a mean fuckin’ swig of Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky.
Lahey looks back on a trip of discovery he took as a young man in the latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey.
He was young, he had long hair, and he has feeling pressure to become a cop, just like his old man, and just like his old man’s old man. That’s when he decided he needed to go find himself. He certainly did, in a big fuckin way, in Italy.
Learn how a special liquor led him to losing his virginity (twice), how he nearly lost his balls, and how he found himself running with the bulls.
PLUS: In a totally random drunken tangent, you’ll also learn how to tie a handy fuckin’ nautical knot!
The liquor shall not sleep, the liquor shall not rest in peace, the liquor shall return!
Liquor Stories with James Lahey returns for a second season, with Mr. Lahey dedicating the first episode to a sippy-poo that is very symbolic of the upper-classity, VAT 69.
Lahey, coming to us from his recently renogulated set, takes a trip down memory lane to New York City in 1984, and the Halifax Harbour in the 1970s, and shares some of the important moments in his life that involved VAT 69.
Hot summer days, drug busts, biker gangs, and sexy Scottish men are all part of VAT 69’s Liquor Story!
Drunky the Fuck Clown and the Cheeseburger Locker are back for a new season of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy, only on SwearNet.com!
On the first episode of the new season, we get a look at the updated set, including a much larger space for Randy’s Kitchen (though maybe he may have encroached on someone else’s territory). Speaking of Randy and burgers, he’s sporting a Cheeseburger Patch to help curb his cravings and keep him on track to trim down for 2017.
They invite the “greatest guest they’ve ever had” – some guy named Greg that Lahey met at the laundromat. Greg wows Lahey and Randy with his passion for yo-yos and marijuana-related web domains.
Welcome to the year of the cock!
Randy and Lahey welcome you to celebrate the New Year with them on the latest episode of The Jim Lahey Show (and Randy)! Well, with Randy, anyway… Lahey begins the show in a deep liquor sleep.
Randy reflects on 2016 and makes some resolutions for the new year — more burger, less bun! Speaking of burgers, Randy’s Kitchen features the “New Year’s Burger” made up of holiday leftovers, with plenty of vegetables (onion rings).
Plus: a range of guests stop by – Marguerite (and she’s PISSED), Bobby Mac (and he’s FIRED UP), and the whole fucking SwearNet crew sing a few holiday tunes.
Mr. Lahey is in high spirits for the Jim Lahey Show and Randy Christmas special! He won some cash on the slot machines and is buying everyone in Sunnyvale a Christmas present, even the shit weasels! He also presents the recipe which got him nominated for a Nobel Peace prize, the “Fruitcake Liquorball Sandwich.”
Not to be outdone, on Randy’s Kitchen, Randers puts together Christmas Burgers, and gives Lahey the gift of liquor.
PLUS: A special guest from the park joins the celebrations!
Welcome back to the Shart Tank on The Jim Lahey Show and Randy! On today’s episode, actor Rhys Bevan-John is in the hot seat!
Randy and Lahey are looking for new ideas to help the citizens of Sunnyvale reach their true potential, and they’re inviting any and all great ideas to test their viability on the Shart Tank. Good-looking dude Rhys Bevan-John has an idea of Shakespearean proportions!
Will he succeed? Will Randy ring the Burger of Acceptance? Or will the shit current drag Rhys away? FIND OUT ON THE SHART TANK!
Calling all visionaries and entrepreneurs – The Jim Lahey Show and Randy wants YOUR ideas on THE SHART TANK!
You can now listen to the audio version for free on iTunes and Libsyn – and what a show we have for you this week. Lahey and Randy welcome author/sailor/musician/smuggler Tom Gallant to the Shart Tank to discuss his big idea for improving the lives of the residents of Sunnyvale.
What’s his big idea? Will Randy and Lahey accept it? Why the fuck is Randy wearing a tie? All these questions, and more, are answered on The Jim Lahey Show and Randy!
The Halloween episode of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy is now available for free download on iTunes and Libsyn!
Randy is pumped for Halloween, and he even has a special spooky burger ready for Randy’s Kitchen. But for Mr. Lahey, the specter of Halloween 1977 is too much for him to handle and the LIQUOR takes over.
This episode also features a fucking awesome boat trip to Peggy’s Cove, Nova Scotia! Your best bet might be to watch that cocksucker — the video version can be found here on SwearNet.com!