Tag Archive for Liquor Stories

New on swearnet.com – How to Be a Successful Alcoholic

Lahey happily holds up a bottle of Liquormen's!

Understanding your childhood is key when trying to understand your own shitline.  Lahey takes us on a liquor trip down memory lane on the latest Liquor Stories with James Lahey, and we discover the early days of the young shitling that would eventually grow to be the supervisor of Sunnyvale Trailer Park!

After encouragement from Randy, Lahey spoke to a psychiatrist who dove into the liquor captain’s childhood memories, in an attempt to understand why he behaves the way he does today.  Lahey reads some of the psychiatric conclusions on today’s Liquor Stories, and finds that a lot of the analysis revolves around his time as an altar boy in the Catholic church.

We also learn about how a young Lahey dealt with bullies, and discover his earliest memories of seeing a flaccid adult penis.  All this and more on another fascinating episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey!

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New on swearnet.com – Benedictine Brandy

Lahey prepares to sip on some Benedictine Brandy

Benedictine Brandy might have a foul smell and a foul taste, but on the latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Benedictine Brandy does the trick!

For those of you who are worried that liquor may be destroying your brain and diminishing your mental abilities – fear not.  In this episode, Lahey says if you successfully drink with the grain of the liquor, it can put you into a whole new category of clarity.  Listen to any drunk fucker rant and rave… they are always completely clear in their conviction, and that’s what the liquor can achieve for you.  IF you drink with the grain.

Lahey also discusses the shit line, and when you shouldn’t cross it.

 

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New on swearnet.com – Let the Liquor Do the Bowling

Lahey is no longer banned from the bowling alley

Not all stories can be told from an arm chair.  On today’s episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey, Lahey takes us out of his liquor parlour and into the Sunnyvale Bowling Alley!

Twenty years ago, in 1997, Lahey was at the top of his bowling game.  Unfortunately, he was not wearing the regulation bowling pants, and was disqualified, robbed of his trophy, and banned from the bowling alley for 20 years.

Well, the shit clock has reached the end of its countdown, and now Lahey is free to return to the bowling alley and right a 20-year-old wrong.

Will he win back his championship?

Will he get drunk as fuck?

Will he wear regulation pants?

Will he wear pants at all?

One thing’s for sure.  He’ll be letting the liquor do the bowling.

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New on swearnet.com – Dream a Little Liquor Dream of Me

Lahey answers a call during a late-night Liquor Stories taping

The latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey is a journey so deep into Lahey’s liquor brain that you may fear you will never return to your normal life.

After having a late-night “epissany,” Lahey wakes from a deep sleep and decides he needs to rush to SwearNet studios to record a late-night Liquor Stories to impart a mountain of shit-knowledge on the SwearNet audience.

No Chipper, no problem, Lahey can operate his own camera. He proceeds to launch into a dimly-lit magnum shit-opus of epic proportions. Old Man Liquor offers rules to live by, and his unstoppable train of thought is only interrupted twice – once for a phone call, and once for a mean fuckin’ swig of Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky.

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New on swearnet.com – Young Lahey Finds Himself in Italy

Lahey passed out in front of a large knot

Lahey looks back on a trip of discovery he took as a young man in the latest episode of Liquor Stories with James Lahey.  

He was young, he had long hair, and he has feeling pressure to become a cop, just like his old man, and just like his old man’s old man.  That’s when he decided he needed to go find himself.  He certainly did, in a big fuckin way, in Italy.

Learn how a special liquor led him to losing his virginity (twice), how he nearly lost his balls, and how he found himself running with the bulls.

PLUS: In a totally random drunken tangent, you’ll also learn how to tie a handy fuckin’ nautical knot!

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New on swearnet.com – The Liquor has Returned!

Lahey puts his feet up and enjoys some VAT 69

The liquor shall not sleep, the liquor shall not rest in peace, the liquor shall return!

Liquor Stories with James Lahey returns for a second season, with Mr. Lahey dedicating the first episode to a sippy-poo that is very symbolic of the upper-classity, VAT 69.

Lahey, coming to us from his recently renogulated set, takes a trip down memory lane to New York City in 1984, and the Halifax Harbour in the 1970s, and shares some of the important moments in his life that involved VAT 69.

Hot summer days, drug busts, biker gangs, and sexy Scottish men are all part of VAT 69’s Liquor Story!

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