Tag Archive for rum

New on swearnet.com – Hospital Food

Chico holds his kidney and prepares to cook it

Some people lose a kidney and cry about it.  Not Chico.  On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, he’s making the most of a medical emergency by cooking that fucking organ in a steak and kidney pie.

In their ode to hospital food, the OWC dicks are eating meals out of bed pans, chicken soup from piss jugs, and honing their surgery skills with a spirited and profane round of Operation.

GUEST-STARRING: Absinthe and cock rum.

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New on swearnet.com – Full English Breakfast

The Offworld Cookery dicks wake up bright and early in the middle of the forest and decide it’s time to throw together a proper English breakfast (though this fucking meal has enough rum and dope in it to pass as a Sunnyvale breakfast)!

Along with breakfast, the lads cleanse their face holes for your amusement, and they abuse the legendary croissant, mocking its fucked continental origins.  We see how the sausage is made, and we catch a glimpse of an extremely dangerous-looking outdoor oven.

PLUS: What is an ‘unholy lasagna of the netherworld,’ and what does it taste like?!

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New on swearnet.com – Fuckin’ Modern Technology!

Julian answers fan questions

On today’s episode of Dear Julian, we get some advice on surviving an early-mid-life crisis, how to trick the stupid fucking cops that pull you over for smoking dope, and how to advertise greasy new bars!

We also get Julian’s take on modern fuckin technology.  How is it impacting his line of work?  What are his opinions of hackers?  Now that everyone has goddamn cameras in their pockets, is it hard to pull off greasy shit?

PLUS: We learn some serious rum lessons, particularly when it comes to driving!

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New on swearnet.com – It’s for the Liquor

We pay Julian in liquor and he answers questions for us

On today’s episode of Dear Julian, Julian reveals his true feelings about answering all of your fucky questions for this show: it’s less about your problems, and more about the bottle of rum we give him after each episode.

He offers advice on parenting, threesomes, and the best ways to get fucked up when your broke.  Julian also answers fan questions about his hobbies, whether or not he is a fighter, and if he has ever tried a rum bong.

PLUS: What’s the longest amount of time Julian has gone between drinks?  Find out in this episode!

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New on swearnet.com – Avoiding Whisky Dick

Julian sips on rum and reads fan questions

Julian is in a positive mood for today’s episode of Dear Julian, despite some of you pricks deciding it’s ok to call him Swayze!

Julian sips on a rum and coke and answers fan questions about whisky-dick threesomes, lending money to friends who want to make a rap record, the sexiest places for ladies to get tattoos, and much more.

He also explains why his last name is secret (and it’s NOT fucking SWAYZE).

PLUS: How in the fuck can a Maritimer like Jules hate seafood?!

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Now on iTunes and Libsyn: In the Spirit of Liquor

Lahey is sampling the world's liquors

Take a trip around the world without leaving your liquor!  Episode 10 of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy is now available for free download on iTunes and Libsyn!

Join Mr. Lahey as he and renowned liquor scholar Dom Carlos explore the spiritual effects of the liquors of the world!  Randy’s Kitchen serves up a summertime burger delight, and we learn how to roll a pinner!

Stay tuned til the end – Lahey has a big fuckin’ surprise for Randers!

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DEAR JULIAN: Send Us Your Goddamn Problems!

Get Julian's advice!

Julian’s ready to pour a few drinks and share some advice on an upcoming edition of Dear Julian.  Having trouble in your relationship?  Planning a grocery store robbery to get food for your friend’s wedding and need help with logistics?  You have problems, Julian has solutions.

Post your problems in the comment section below.  If you use his advice, that’s fine.  If you don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.

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