The Offworld Cookery dicks wake up bright and early in the middle of the forest and decide it’s time to throw together a proper English breakfast (though this fucking meal has enough rum and dope in it to pass as a Sunnyvale breakfast)!
Along with breakfast, the lads cleanse their face holes for your amusement, and abuse the legendary croissant, mocking its fucked continental origins. We see how a sausage is made, and we catch a glimpse of an extremely dangerous-looking outdoor oven.
PLUS: What is an ‘unholy lasagna of the netherworld,’ and what does it taste like?!
Join Mr. Lahey as he and renowned liquor scholar Dom Carlos explore the spiritual effects of the liquors of the world! Randy’s Kitchen serves up a summertime burger delight, and we learn how to roll a pinner!
Stay tuned til the end – Lahey has a big fuckin’ surprise for Randers!
Julian’s ready to pour a few drinks and share some advice on an upcoming edition of Dear Julian. Having trouble in your relationship? Planning a grocery store robbery to get food for your friend’s wedding and need help with logistics? You have problems, Julian has solutions.
Post your problems in the comment section below. If you use his advice, that’s fine. If you don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.
Hey fuckers, it’s time for another lil’ drinkypoo! This week on Liquor Stories, Lahey downs a famous rum from “Trinibag & Tobagel”, and is determined to get drunk as fuck before his performance tonight at the Blandford Recreation Centre!
It’s time for another episode of our new cooking shitshow, Offworld Cookery! This week, SwearNet’s culinary cocks travel into the future to cook up a fucked feast of spam, meatloaf, and prawn flavoured cheese in a tube. The future’s looking SHIT!
Forget Jamie Oliver, Nigella and those other culinary cocktarts – SwearNet is proud to present Offworld Cookery, a tragic (and hilarious) outdoor food spasm following a group of inebriated Northern English morons, and their attempts at cooking three-course meals in the wilderness.
In Episode One shivering shits Chico and Paul grapple with hot pork and mackerel to create a Hawaiian feast on the not-remotely-fucking-tropical Scottish island of Rum. The first episode is FREE to watch, so check it out now!