Tag Archive for swearnet

Trailer Park Boys 360: Bubbles’ Shed

The camera dicks at SwearNet hooked Bubbles up with a 360 camera and he’s taking it for a spin.  And where in the fuck do you think he’s going to set up shop first?

Only the most DECENT shed on the planet – that’s where!

Take a tour of the homestead with Bubbles as your guide and have a look at what he keeps in there.  If you’re asking ‘will there be a kitty cameo?’  – all we can say is ‘does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?’

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New on swearnet.com – Does Bubbles Prefer to Feed the Geese?

Julian is ready to answer your questions for Dear Julian

Dear Julian is joined yet again by Ricky and Bubbles, who seem intent on fucking up Julian’s brand new glass table.

The Boys get asked a range of questions, including:

  • Will 2017 suck as fucking bad as 2016?
  • How many kilometres have been logged on the ol’ Shitmobile?
  • Would Julian ever shave his goatee?
  • Would the Boys ever consider a hostile takeover of SwearNet?

Plus – Bubbles gets asked a pretty personal question.  We never seem to see him with any ladies – does that mean he’d rather feed the geese?

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New on swearnet.com – Smaller Buns in 2017!

Mr. Lahey and Randy celebrate the New Year with a little drinky-poo!

Randy and Lahey welcome you to celebrate the New Year with them on the latest episode of The Jim Lahey Show (and Randy)!  Well, with Randy, anyway… Lahey begins the show in a deep liquor sleep.

Randy reflects on 2016 and makes some resolutions for the new year — more burger, less bun!  Speaking of burgers, Randy’s Kitchen features the “New Year’s Burger” made up of holiday leftovers, with plenty of vegetables (onion rings).

Plus: a range of guests stop by – Marguerite (and she’s PISSED), Bobby Mac (and he’s FIRED UP), and the whole fucking SwearNet crew sing a few holiday tunes.

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New on swearnet.com – A Sack Full of Nuts

Mike Smith is blowing a smoke bubble

It’s the Mailbag, mother fuckers!  The Boys get a deeeecent haul in this episode, highlighted by a GREASY Randy gut ring from Big Joe’s Biker Rings!

They also get a fuck load of candy from Sweden, space gifts, mixed nuts, and a birthday card (WITH LIQUOR CASH) for Mike.  Perhaps the most fucked up thing they receive is a mystery box full of suspicious oils and powders – is someone out to poison the Boys, or are looks deceiving?!

And this is a public service announcement to Mike – JP’s mom DOES watch this fucking show, so watch your goddamn mouth!

If you want to send some shit to the Mailbag (with absolutely NO guarantee that it’ll be opened in any kind of a timely fucking fashion), use this address:

Attn: Mailbag
Swearnet.com Incorporated
PO Box 38072 Burnside
Dartmouth NS B3B 1X2
CANADA

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The Greasiest Photo of Them All

The winner of the Greasy outdoors contest!

It’s been a greasy month but it’s over – after three weeks of photo submissions and one week of voting, The Greasy Outdoors contest has a winner!

The winning photo was sent by Tina T (pictured above, Dumpster Tanner) and her greasy “Usual Suspects“: John “Johnny Bags” (Dumpster Diver); Chase (Dumpster King); Wade (Dumpster Feaster), and photographer Jeff.

For Tina, using a dumpster wasn’t just a greasy idea for a photo contest, it was a throw back to a few fucked up memories from her childhood.

“My mom was the Dumpster Queen,” recalls Tina.  “She’s Mexican-Irish, so she thinks finding a good dumpster haul is thrifty and smart, not trash diving. If my mom gives you something and doesn’t tell you where she got it… it was from the dumpster. She’ll say that she ‘found it’, but we all know.”

Tina’s mom provided some fucking fantastic inspiration because the dumpster photo crushed the competition — nearly 400 other photos were vying to be the greasiest of them all.  But it didn’t come without challenges.

“I scouted all of Burbank, CA to find an open dumpster where no one would bug us,” says Tina.  “Did you know most people lock their fucking trash AND they have mall dicks guarding it?  Luckily, I found a sweet spot and the security guard came over just as we were cleaning up. We got the fuck out of there before he got to us!”

Tina is taking home a DECENT prize pack of SwearNet swag, and she already has plans to celebrate.

“You know I’m gonna have a SwearNet/TPB party for my Usual Suspects,” says Tina.  “I’ll cook for them in my Dirty Burger apron (and nothing else), change into my Green Bastard shirt for the party and wear the fuck out of the SwearNet hat–and I don’t usually wear hats over this big curly hair, but that fucker is awesome!”

She’ll also get a free one-year subscription to SwearNet, and she’s pretty fuckin’ excited about that, too.

“I love so many SwearNet shows! Not kissing ass here, how would that help me now? The Trailer Park Boys Podcast is the best around. Period. And I’m a podcast whore, so I know. Also, I’m cuckoo-bananas for The Jim Lahey Show with Randy, Gettin’ Learnt and Guitar Lessons with Bubbles. The OWC guys are a fucking delight, as well.”

Congrats to Tina, you fucking earned it!  And many thanks to the many fuckers who sent in their fucking photos.  Fuckin’ DECENT!

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SwearNet’s Greasy Little Summer Photo Contest

Greasy photo contest

Put down your Pokefuck Go app and go spend some REAL time outside!  Whether it’s a liquor picnic at the beach, extreme dirty burger BBQing, or a piss jug road trip, we want to see photos of how you enjoy the GREASY outdoors.

Our photo contest starts today – and you have three weeks to upload your photo.  After that, tell your arsehole friends that they have one week to vote for your picture.  The person with the most votes will win a DECENT prize pack, plus a one-year subscription to SwearNet!  Runners-up will also receive SwearNet subs.

You can read the full cocksucking contest details and enter by clicking here.

 

Prize pack for the photo contest.

Win a RARE SwearNet cap, Dirty Burger apron, a beer coozie, a Green Bastard t-shirt, and a DECENT signed picture from the Boys. Plus – one free fucking year of SwearNet!

Summertime, and the living is GREASY!

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DEAR JULIAN: Send Us Your Goddamn Problems!

Get Julian's advice!

Julian’s ready to pour a few drinks and share some advice on an upcoming edition of Dear Julian.  Having trouble in your relationship?  Planning a grocery store robbery to get food for your friend’s wedding and need help with logistics?  You have problems, Julian has solutions.

Post your problems in the comment section below.  If you use his advice, that’s fine.  If you don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.

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New at swearnet.com: TPB Podcast Episode 48 – Happy Fucking Canada Day!

The Boys celebrate Canada Day

The drinks are flowing and the Boys are celebrating Canada Day!  On the newest Trailer Park Boys Podcast, the Boys invite Jacob from whatever fucking planet he’s from, to join them in Ricky’s trailer for some pizza and BIG GREASY DONAIRS.

Ricky shares 36 delightful facts about Canada, including the reason Canada receives thousands of goddamn tulips from The Netherlands every year, Canadian Jungle Pizza, and how the great CANADAMAN founded the country.

The Boys also discuss the most fucked up things they’ve ever banged, and why the residents of Sunnyvale need to fear zombie dogs!

This episode is brought to you by the Trailer Park Boys official merch store, and Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky!

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New at swearnet.com: The Cocktale Hour Part 2

CS - Cocktale Hour pt2

Svetlana and Vivian, your two favourite Euro-sluts, are back with another Cocktale Hour!  This week’s topic: Sex on the Beach, both the drink, and the act of actually banging on the beach (which both Svetlana and Vivian have done many, MANY times… greasy).  They also present the Sex Fact of the Day and answer viewer questions.  PLUS:  Vivian shares a fucking terrifying story about a trip to the park.

Be sure to leave your questions in the comment section for future instalments of the Cocktale Hour!

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