Alright dickheads, we want more questions for upcoming episodes of Dear Julian.
Since we started the second season, Bubbles and Ricky seem to have found their way onto the set. Julian doesn’t want them around all the fucking time, it’s still called DEAR JULIAN for fuck sakes, but you never know when they might show up. So include questions for those two shit weasels too if it tickles your fucking fancy!
Trying to figure out how to fuck over the tax man this tax season?
Want to learn how to roll the perfect six-paper joint?
Can’t stop your kitty from humping your fucking leg?
Comment below!
Dear Julian,
When it comes to matters of the heart, is it worth waiting for a guy that is being coy about wanting you? What is the best way to say, hey are we going to bang or not?
Cheers,
Michelle
Dear Ricky and Bubbles,
How do you get women to bang y’all in the shitmobile and the shed?
I have tried unsuccessfully to bang a chick in my busted up shit box of a truck to my man cave shed in the backyard.
What am I doing wrong?
From your cop fan in South Carolina.
Dear Julian, will you marry me? I can mix your drinks, make sure you always have liquor, bang you, and anything else to make you happy 🙂
Damn JP she’s a keeper. Bang her and marry her.
Dear Julian,
I know you’re not a doctor, but maybe you can help me. For about 10 days, I have been getting massive cold sores around my mouth, it burns when I pee, and my giblets itch a lot. Do you think I have the flu that’s been going around the office?
On a positive note, two weeks ago I banged a super hot chick using Ricky’s awesome “hook” maneuver. Best bang I have had in a long time! It was extra greasy since it was behind an Arby’s.
Cheers!
Dear Julian….& Fuckers
I live with a bunch of cocknoodle Dick heads and it’s hard to have any of my own time. Usually I’d take a fucking ride or a walk and smoke a fat bitch of a TPB joint or a Dutch master. But it fucking rains here in Alabama alot, so I guess wtf I want to know is how would you fuckers escape from cunts like Randy and Lahey when their always up your ass and it’s a shit fucking day outside?
Dear Julian bubs and rick my mate mike cranks one out 3 times a day and he tells me he goes off like a fire hydrant I’m 5 years younger than him 43 and I struggle to pull one off 3 times a week and when I do it’s only a dribble should I see a doctor ps I don’t like doctors so i hope you 3 can help
Dear Julian,
I work in a bakery and my shift starts at 3:00 AM. The upside to this is no traffic on the roads. The downside is the only other traffic is mostly drunk drivers, as I’m headed to work shortly after last call. I could easily speed my way to work on the empty roads, but the presence of the drunks concerns me. Can I safely dodge drunk drivers at high speeds?
Dear Julian,
My girlfriend’s hot friend wants to bang me, and she wants to bang my girlfriend, too. Seems like a total win-win to me, but my girlfriend doesn’t see it that way. Is there any way to have her stop being so jealous and/or overprotective? I have plenty of love to go around.
Dear Julian,
What should I do if I’m approached at the bar by some “drunk as fuck” walrus named Pat?
Dear, Julian
I know Bubs has mad skills with the models, but does he ever settle for us non model types?
Stay sexy.
Dear Julian, I love your signature glass that u never seem to be without I have one of my own. It took weeks of looking to find one exactly like yours. Mabye u could sell them in the swear net store save people some time and make some decent money. I have a few other money making ideas for u and the boys, mabye ricky’s maple flavored honey oil? Love u guys keep up the good work.
I’m sure Lucy has a lot of girlfriends, how come she’s never fixed up Bubbs or Julian?
Dear Julian & Fuckers
I’m friends with a set of lesbians, one which I’ve known longer than the other and she’s fucking hot. Her lesbo partner on the other hand not so fucking much. Actually looks like a fucking dude with tits. They both want to have a three way with me and I can’t help but contemplate. What the fuck should I do?
Dear Julian. First of all, don’t bother trying to pronounce my fucked up Norwegian name.
I have a friend who is always borrowing money from me, but every month when he gets his paycheck he says he doesn’t have enough to pay me back because he has too many bills to pay. I think he’s drinking it all away, but I can’t prove it. He’s one of my best friends so I don’t want to go too overboard, but I can’t keep letting him get away with it. How do I tell him to fuck off with the loans, without pissing him off so much that I don’t get my money back? And what do you do when your friend might be an alcoholic?
Dear Bubbles,
Your glasses have been broken since the beginning of trailer park boys. When do you think you will save up enough money from the shopping cart business to buy yourself some new glasses?
He only “makes about 80 fuckin bucks a month, just enough to pay for some cat food and lot fees” quoted by Bubbles. If ya watch the show as much as I do, you’ll know all the answers to questions like this, by quotes in the movie even. But then again I’m an EVERY DAY watcher at the very least a couple hours. And have been for over 10 years.
Dear Julian,
My dad let the liquor do the thinkin’ and wound up in con college. Should I let my son visit him?
Dear Julian
It fucking rains and storms here alot and I know you always have a refill of booze on the go. So I figure that your the perfect fucker to ask… What do you do to kill time when your stuck inside the fucking house? Listen to music, bang, drink more, maybe play some fucking drinking games? Let me fucking know. Thanks bud.
Dear Julian
Many in this day in age will find a spot in life where they seem stuck. So eventually they come to ask themselves…
What. The. Fuck. Would. Julian. Do.
& I seem to be one of those fuckers asking myself the same question. Would you follow your dreams if it didn’t make much money , or make a shit ton of money but having to swallow your pride ?
Thanks for the fucking time.
Dear Julian
while drunk and stoned with some buddies we decided we had to see Terry and Deaner from Fubar turn up at Sunnyvale. Maybe Deaner’s mom and Phil Collins were both in the same junior high school and Deaner could be Phil’s long lost son and he and Randy try to realize Phil’s dream of a string of Dirty Burger franchises. Well we sobered up and after a smoke and some jalapeno chips we still thought it was a good idea but what the fuck do we know. Then we thought …. lets ask Julian
Truth be told, I am in attractive guy, it’s something I would never admit in person but I know it. So, when it comes to ladies, I normally get hit on so I don’t have to do any work to get laid. Should I keep being lazy and getting laid, Or should I try make an effort to try to bang even more ladies?
Dear Julian,
Do you still get a rush when y’all do illegal shit or is the spark gone?
Dear Bubs,
How do you tame a feisty kitty that likes to bite and scratch? Our adopted tabby won’t even let us tickle her belly without putting up a fight!
Dear Ricky,
What ever happened to your dad’s dog Flipper from the earlier seasons 1-2?
Hope to hear back from you boys soon.
Cheers from Ryan and Miranda from Phoenix Arizona
I live in Illinois and I love your show. But I want to try your new Sponsored alcohol but I can’t find any place to buy it do you have any suggestions?
It’s only available in Canada right now, Michael – but we’re fucking working to get it to the US!!
OK I screwed up what I want to find out is how do I get any of the alcohol that your sponsors are are are Offering. I live in Illinois any suggestions?
when can we look forward to seeing more from the 1pug Inwood Dicks??
For fucks sake when are you assholes going to come to Detroit so I can’t meet you fuckers. Bubbles, I have a pretty kitty you’d love, Ricky I can get you some of the best dope here, and Julian we can go find some beautiful women👏🏻 Love you fuckers..
-Mary
My question is, does “bubbles” actually weld in real life? Would love to get a fucking answer!
What was it that Ricky threw in his car that was outside on a rack at the gas station Jacob worked at in the episode ” A Shit Leopard Can’t Change It’s Spots? You can’t see what the bottles or jugs or whatever they are.
Dear Julian,
I love my job but I really want to pursue my own business. Is it a bad idea to take such a risk in my thirties?
where the fuck can i watch trailer park boys the 1999 pilot movie?
Fucking Christ these questions are fucked, Why are you guys creating your own liquor labels when you can use your fan base to excel 2nd rate liquors when you can develop a privately owned
alcoholic drink or third rate to a next level product with ease….fucking think straight you guys have a massive fan base and a regulated fan based feed get educated. For free look up a promotion from Smirnoff or Kraken rum a mongoloid could make more money off your label than an actual person
Mike, when will you be back on Cameo? I would love to give a message from you for the biggest TPB fan in the UK! Thanks you guys are the best!
Leonie from Yorkshire, UK.
I want to give my number to get called on your podcast
Is there anywhere to buy autographed merchandise?
Hey Swearnet I have a suggestion for you I’ve been watching trailer Park boys for a while and I was wondering if you can make an episode where Jim Lahey dies they’re all at the funeral and Randy has a new boyfriend and Randy’s the park supervisor this is a personal message to Mike Mike if you get this can you please make it happen when this virus is over thanks you rock
Also can you send me the answer
So I’ve been rewatching seasons and movies… a couple times after having a theme on the movie they will use it on the show and act like it never happened plus you can watch the show and movies in time line order and don’t equal up almost like the movie didn’t happen.. like Ricky noticing Lucy’s boob job and acting like it’s new and not happened before and like the stealing coins.. then there is the cartoon.. is it suppose to be that way or is it possible that it’s suppose to be like alternate universe or timeline… just a thought but could have some fun with that like when interviewing you characters by actors…like a crossover.. just a thought..