DEAR JULIAN – Questions, Let’s Go!

questions, let's go

The camera dicks at SwearNet are getting ready to shoot some more episodes of Dear Julian!

We got the rum, got the mix, got the cubes, got the muscles, there’s just one fucking problem.  We’re out of questions!  Write your shit in the comment section below!

Remember, Julian has been doing this show for almost two years now so he has seen it all.  The SwearNet dicks will pick out the best, most unique questions… Jules has answered a thousand fucking questions about “pacing yourself on rum all day,” so try to make er original and we’ll be sure to pass your Q onto the man himself.

Questions, let’s go!


  25 comments for “DEAR JULIAN – Questions, Let’s Go!

  1. Dion Jamieson
    April 27, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    Sir Julian Swayze
    why does bubbles wear the glasses. he clearly cant see too great out of them. have you ever seen him doing stuff without them. And whats the worst thing bubs has done to you or Rick

  2. dick dogfood
    April 27, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    How can I arrange a FMM threesome without so much booze that Whisky Dick shows up too? One guy is legit crazy — as in he believes he’s being gang-stalked by computer hackers — and the other is amusingly stupid.

  3. Jeff
    April 27, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    Yo Julian! Some friend of mine at work is asking me for money to loan them for making a new rap album. Should I tell him that he’s whack as fuck and say HELL NO, or should I charge a shitload of interest and sue him later on the off chance that this mah’fucka makes a shit-ton of money and gets signed to a major label?

    P.S. More liquor treats are on there way to Mailbag! 😀

  4. Organic187
    April 27, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Dear Julian
    Would you rather wrestle Randy homoerotically, or paint a nude portrait of your own mother using your cock as the brush?

  5. michelle
    April 27, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Dear Julian,

    I want to get my first tattoo. Where do you think is the sexiest place a gal should have one?


  6. george
    April 28, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Dear Julian

    What are your thoughts about how the Canadian government is treating tobacco, they say smoking is bad yet they want to Legalize weed. They fucked up the tobacco market they’ll do the same with the weed market. its quite whacked how there doing it if you ask me.

  7. Jim
    April 29, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Dear Julian,
    Why do you come off as such a self centered tough guy, that has little time for people, and is always scheming for that greasy dollar all the time? Did you used to get bullied for your lunch money as a kid? What is your last name? SWAYZE?

  8. Maggie
    April 30, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    Dear Julian,
    Is it true you hate seafood? That’s kind of fucked, if you grew up in the Maritimes. I’ve always lived near the coast and was raised on seafood from Maine and Nova Scotia. Please explain.

  9. Bobby
    April 30, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    Dear Julian, where the fuck’s J-ROC and McFlurry?????

  10. SamonOfKnowl
    May 2, 2017 at 8:31 am

    Deer Julian,

    I know sometimes you have trouble keeping a handle on Ricky when he gets too fucked the night before a job. Have you ever considered medicating him with some serious dosses of caffeine along with the weed?

    A seriously strong coffee with a strong pure weed J combo first thing in the morning would give Rickey clarity of thought with a massive get up and go kick…. He would move faster and wouldn’t be too cranky because hes got the dope in him as well, It would take some trial and error because each person is different but there is this magical sweat spot of just the right amount of dope and caffeine that would beat even the best rum buz you have ever had

  11. Erin Durango
    May 2, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    Dear Julian,
    I’m a stripper and a single parent. I’m damn good at what I do and it allows me to provide a good life for my 7 year old. Lately she’s been inquiring more and more about what mommy does for a living. Should I try to tell her the truth or put it off?

  12. October 29, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Fear Julian. I mean Dear Julian, i know i’m probably to late with this but .. I’m standing in a roadcrossing in life and don’t know what to do. Been into drugs and crime since age of 12. I am now almost 29. Got shitloads of talent and IQ over 100, but i don’t know what to fucking do with it .. Been busted twice for weed, im now on probation and have no fuckin clue where to live in the future as i’m evicted, i want to keep on using drugs and shit .. but then again i want to do right for my family. So .. One big dirty fucker and retire or pee in fucking cup for years because of a joint? Love you – DC

  13. RoboCox
    December 5, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Dear Julian,
    Do you ever get tired of rum and coke? Have you ever switched it up with a different mixed drink (LIT, AMF, etc.)?

  14. Lizzy
    May 9, 2019 at 6:12 am

    Dear Julian, I really look up to you. I have a business deal going on right now. It’s a family owned restaurant. I’m not sure if I should go for it, because I’ve been screwed over by my family lots of times. Any advice would be appreciated thanks.

  15. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 1:37 am

    Dear Julian, what is the best business reading material you’ve ever read?

  16. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 1:42 am

    Dear Julian, what’s it like being in jail and trying to make money as soon as possible?

  17. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 1:52 am

    Dear Julian, I know I have led a shitty life I drank vodka when I was 7 and was beat by my uncle when I was about 4 or 5 that’s the earliest memory I lived in a camper by myself from 10 years of age until I was 15 then it got sold so I had to move but I refuse to give up I don’t know if hard work and my skills are enough how do I better myself more

  18. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 1:59 am

    Dear Julian, what is your favorite food? Mine is ramen noodles

  19. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 2:12 am

    Dear Julian, I’ve alway wanted to start my own business what are some really good tips that is useful thanks.

  20. Lizzy
    May 13, 2019 at 2:19 am

    Dear Julian, why do these fuckets call you Swayze? If you ask me you look nothing like that little bitch your way cooler but that’s my opinion

  21. Lizzy
    May 16, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    Dear Julian, have you ever been in prison, or just jail?

  22. Lizzy
    May 17, 2019 at 7:25 am

    Dear Julian, do you like spicy foods? like ghost peppers for example.

  23. Lizzy
    May 22, 2019 at 4:40 am

    Dear Julian, if I see Randy and Lahey do I kill them or do I just beat the shit out of them for amusement

  24. Lizzy
    June 5, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    Dear Julian, what is the best rum you’ve ever had?

  25. Lay Jimhey
    July 22, 2022 at 2:09 am

    Dear Julian,
    I’ve been in a relationship for years. I love my girlfriend and we have lots of good things going, but my passion for her is not the same anymore. I’m easily attracted to other people, and sexually very driven. I’m thinking about ending my relationship to experience new people, but also don’t want to ruin what I have now. What the fuck should I do, and is there something wrong with me?

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