This week on Mailbag: The three drunk-ass bitches get more wedding invites, Ricky gets a bookle, and a liquor bird swoops in with a diaper-licious alligator snack! Also: Don’t stop believin’ – good advice and inspiration from JP!
Tag Archive for Dear Julian
Julian’s led a fucked-up life, but he’s a survivor and knows a thing or two about love, money, and relationships. If you use his advice, that’s fine. But if you don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.
New on swearnet.com – Fuckin’ Modern Technology!
On today’s episode of Dear Julian, we get some advice on surviving an early-mid-life crisis, how to trick the stupid fucking cops that pull you over for smoking dope, and how to advertise greasy new bars!
We also get Julian’s take on modern fuckin technology. How is it impacting his line of work? What are his opinions of hackers? Now that everyone has goddamn cameras in their pockets, is it hard to pull off greasy shit?
PLUS: We learn some serious rum lessons, particularly when it comes to driving!
New on swearnet.com – It’s for the Liquor
On today’s episode of Dear Julian, Julian reveals his true feelings about answering all of your fucky questions for this show: it’s less about your problems, and more about the bottle of rum we give him after each episode.
He offers advice on parenting, threesomes, and the best ways to get fucked up when your broke. Julian also answers fan questions about his hobbies, whether or not he is a fighter, and if he has ever tried a rum bong.
PLUS: What’s the longest amount of time Julian has gone between drinks? Find out in this episode!
New on swearnet.com – Avoiding Whisky Dick
Julian is in a positive mood for today’s episode of Dear Julian, despite some of you pricks deciding it’s ok to call him Swayze!
Julian sips on a rum and coke and answers fan questions about whisky-dick threesomes, lending money to friends who want to make a rap record, the sexiest places for ladies to get tattoos, and much more.
He also explains why his last name is secret (and it’s NOT fucking SWAYZE).
PLUS: How in the fuck can a Maritimer like Jules hate seafood?!
DEAR JULIAN – Questions, Let’s Go!
The camera dicks at SwearNet are getting ready to shoot some more episodes of Dear Julian!
We got the rum, got the mix, got the cubes, got the muscles, there’s just one fucking problem. We’re out of questions! Write your shit in the comment section below!
Remember, Julian has been doing this show for almost two years now so he has seen it all. The SwearNet dicks will pick out the best, most unique questions… Jules has answered a thousand fucking questions about “pacing yourself on rum all day,” so try to make er original and we’ll be sure to pass your Q onto the man himself.
Questions, let’s go!
New on swearnet.com – Half Naked Most of the Time
Bubbles is back at the fancy glass table for another guest appearance on Dear Julian.
On this episode, Julian and Bubbles answer a range of questions on fucked up topics such as feeding your dog Prozac, half-naked landlords, and dealing with guns pointed in your face.
Plus: find out about the weirdest thing the Boys ever smoked out of!
New on swearnet.com – How the Fuck to Make Swish
Season Two of Dear Julian has been featuring some DECENT guests, none more decent than one of Julian’s best friends on the planet, Bubbles!
On today’s episode, Julian and Bubbles answer fan questions on a number of fucked topics, including the origins of the Green Bastard, how to rip off EI (Employment Insurance, or pogey to most), and the Boys share some stories about Randy as a young dickhead. You’ll also get a detailed set of instructions for making DIRTY OLD SWISH.
Plus: Ever wonder where Bubbles gets all of his fucking amazing shirts? Watch this episode to find out!
Send Us Your Fucking Questions
Alright dickheads, we want more questions for upcoming episodes of Dear Julian.
Since we started the second season, Bubbles and Ricky seem to have found their way onto the set. Julian doesn’t want them around all the fucking time, it’s still called DEAR JULIAN for fuck sakes, but you never know when they might show up. So include questions for those two shit weasels too if it tickles your fucking fancy!
Trying to figure out how to fuck over the tax man this tax season?
Want to learn how to roll the perfect six-paper joint?
Can’t stop your kitty from humping your fucking leg?
New on swearnet.com – Does Bubbles Prefer to Feed the Geese?
Dear Julian is joined yet again by Ricky and Bubbles, who seem intent on fucking up Julian’s brand new glass table.
The Boys get asked a range of questions, including:
- Will 2017 suck as fucking bad as 2016?
- How many kilometres have been logged on the ol’ Shitmobile?
- Would Julian ever shave his goatee?
- Would the Boys ever consider a hostile takeover of SwearNet?
Plus – Bubbles gets asked a pretty personal question. We never seem to see him with any ladies – does that mean he’d rather feed the geese?
New on swearnet.com – Don’t Be Betting on Fuckin’ Hobo Fights
It’s a new season of Dear Julian! Julian made a few changes – he got a new table, and he got two new dickhead co-hosts!
Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles tackle fan questions ranging from “how to pass a piss test” to the morality of hobo fights. One fan asks if Ricky will ever get into the licensed medicinal marijuana business, and a question about winter school cancellations leads to a story about Bubbles getting his testicles (or was it his tongue) stuck to a flag pole.
Oh – and the Boys pass on the most important advice perhaps ever given – don’t, under any circumstances, fuck with Tie Domi!