The shit-clock is ticking… you’ve got until Friday, August 23 order your scrumpdilly, limited edition Trailer Park Boys hot sauce! Made with fresh, all-natural ingredients, it’s the perfect sauce for your cheeseburger picnics! It’s also rumoured it makes Barb’s scalloped potatoes a lot less fucked… Order at coneyislandsaucery.com/tpb or fuck off!! 🌶️
Happy Canada Day! To celebrate, we’re giving ya 20% off your order at the official Trailer Park Boys merch store – just use the code CANADA20 at checkout. DECENT!!
Offer ends 8am BST on Wed 3 July, so hurry ta fuck up!
Rum you can smoke? That’s fucking genius, Julian!
Julian’s rum-flavoured rolling papers are flying off the shelves at trailerparkboysmerch.com right now, so get ta fuck over there and grab yourself some!
Are there any Sunnyvale-inspired merch products you’d like to see at the store? Let us know and we’ll see what the fuck we can do!
To celebrate the release of Trailer Park Boys Season 12, we’ve got three awesome new tees at the store! Show your love for Ricky, Julian and Bubbles, the Green Bastard, or the greatest fuckin’ trailer park in the world!
We’ve also got all your favourite merch, including Ricky’s famous houndstooth shirt, Sunnyvale hockey jerseys and a range of DECENT smoking gear (don’t forget, 420 is just around the frigging corner!)
And look out for a new range of greasy new products, coming soon…
The bongs seem to work fine! Ricky is completely baked for the entire podcast, and comes out with some of his weirdest shit yet, including child-strangling teddy bears, smoking doctors, and a flaw in the script of Finding Nemo.
PLUS: Why in the fuck is Bubbles so obsessed with a scale model of the solar system? And why do Ricky and Julian want to involve a helicopter?
This episode of the podcash is brought to you by SwearNet.com (the ONLY place where you can watch the video version of the podcash), Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 Lager, and TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!
Pine Beetle Jack, you are one crazy fucker!
Jack, aka Kyle deMontmorency of Utah, is the winner of our Out of the Park: Your Town contest, where we asked you fuckers to imagine you worked for SwearNet and you were planning a few tasks for Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles to do in your town.
In judging these cocksucking videos, the SwearNet team was looking for submissions that showed the right amounts of effort, creativity, and fuckedness. Pine Beetle Jack delivered!
“While I was filming the contest video, I would dress up as my character Pine Beetle Jack, and go around town,” says Kyle. “Everyone would give me the weirdest looks that say ‘is this guy fucking for real’, or ‘what’s this mulleted fuck-stick doing on my side of town’. The people would see me riding the little threewheeler with its trailer, and laugh their asses off.”
And he certainly put some fucking effort into this video. We asked him if he actually snorted that nasty pine sap. He said he found an easier alternative, but holy fuck, it was no cake walk.
“I came to the conclusion that snorting Pixy Stix, aka the candy shit that is sugar crack for a five year old, would be the best possible option. Needless to say, I live in Utah, so along with all other good things in life we are unable to get here (weed, alcohol on Sundays etc.), I couldn’t find that damn sugar cocaine! I ultimately decided to settle for crushed up Sweet Tarts, mixed with Red Bull to ease the snorting process. You can see for yourself how well that worked out.”
He has a final bit of advice – don’t do this fucking shit at home.
“Climbing up pine trees is dangerous; never over-estimate the strength of pine trees limbs,” he warns. “Grabbing on that dicked-up tree branch to pull myself up higher resulted in it breaking, which sent me falling straight to my red neck ass. That was never intentional.”
Kyle will be the proud new owner of a DECENT haul of Trailer Park Boys swag, including some of the newest shit to hit our official merch site! He’ll also pick up a free subscription to SwearNet.com – TPB’s fucked online comedy network.
Thanks to everyone who entered, you fuckers rule! Now go watch Out of the Park: Europe again!
Get paid in hash to shop at TrailerParkBoysMerch.com!
Er, well, not real hash, the police would fuck us over pretty bad if we started doing that. But we still have a DECENT gift for you if you spend just £30 / €35 / $35 on our merchandise! A hash coin makes a great fucking stocking stuffer! These cocksuckers are made by Big Joe’s Biker Rings, the official maker of Trailer Park Boys jewelry.
Stay tuned for more GREASY deals as we get closer to the borntday of Santa-Jesus-God!
It’s been a greasy month but it’s over – after three weeks of photo submissions and one week of voting, The Greasy Outdoors contest has a winner!
The winning photo was sent by Tina T (pictured above, Dumpster Tanner) and her greasy “Usual Suspects“: John “Johnny Bags” (Dumpster Diver); Chase (Dumpster King); Wade (Dumpster Feaster), and photographer Jeff.
For Tina, using a dumpster wasn’t just a greasy idea for a photo contest, it was a throw back to a few fucked up memories from her childhood.
“My mom was the Dumpster Queen,” recalls Tina. “She’s Mexican-Irish, so she thinks finding a good dumpster haul is thrifty and smart, not trash diving. If my mom gives you something and doesn’t tell you where she got it… it was from the dumpster. She’ll say that she ‘found it’, but we all know.”
Tina’s mom provided some fucking fantastic inspiration because the dumpster photo crushed the competition — nearly 400 other photos were vying to be the greasiest of them all. But it didn’t come without challenges.
“I scouted all of Burbank, CA to find an open dumpster where no one would bug us,” says Tina. “Did you know most people lock their fucking trash AND they have mall dicks guarding it? Luckily, I found a sweet spot and the security guard came over just as we were cleaning up. We got the fuck out of there before he got to us!”
Tina is taking home a DECENT prize pack of SwearNet swag, and she already has plans to celebrate.
“You know I’m gonna have a SwearNet/TPB party for my Usual Suspects,” says Tina. “I’ll cook for them in my Dirty Burger apron (and nothing else), change into my Green Bastard shirt for the party and wear the fuck out of the SwearNet hat–and I don’t usually wear hats over this big curly hair, but that fucker is awesome!”
She’ll also get a free one-year subscription to SwearNet, and she’s pretty fuckin’ excited about that, too.
“I love so many SwearNet shows! Not kissing ass here, how would that help me now? The Trailer Park Boys Podcast is the best around. Period. And I’m a podcast whore, so I know. Also, I’m cuckoo-bananas for The Jim Lahey Show with Randy, Gettin’ Learnt and Guitar Lessons with Bubbles. The OWC guys are a fucking delight, as well.”
Congrats to Tina, you fucking earned it! And many thanks to the many fuckers who sent in their fucking photos. Fuckin’ DECENT!
Ricky and Julian visited the Canadian Gift expo in Toronto this week to launch a greasy new range of Trailer Park Boys goodies – here’s a sneak preview!
The Boys also sold TPB t-shirts at the event, with all proceeds going to the Gord Downie Fund for Brain Cancer Research. Decent work, fellas!
More merch news coming soon, so stay tuned!
The (Mustard) Tiger has roared! Trailer Park Boys fans have voted this design as the winner of the TPB t-shirt design contest, with a massive 43% of the votes! We’ll let ya know when the t-shirt is available to buy at the Trailer Park Boys official merch store!
And let’s get a BAAAAAAAMM for our draw winner, Dominic Maxwell, who wins a TPB t-shirt, stickers and a one-year subscription to swearnet.com!