Get learnt on the latest Park After Dark! The Boys study the geometrical orientation of tits, find out how the Wright brothers’ plane is on Mars, and solve the mystery of ‘Le Cochon Stupide’. Also: Julian reports on the greasiest news stories from around the worldy pipe!
Give it up for Nicole Elizabeth Margiotta (top left) and her delicious stack heading right into her hubby’s cheeseburger locker! Top right is @thekuntz69’s greasy gourmet burger – look at that fucking thing, it’s a dirty meat masterpiece!
Bottom left is Shawn Jackson’s superstack, so fucking tall it needs a kitchen knife to keep ‘er together! And bottom right is @Casmetah’s three little dirty burgers, just begging for Gutzilla to put ’em down him. Congratulations fuckers, you all win a year’s subscription to SwearNet.com! But wait, there’s more…
Top left is @thompson_e16’s burger, so stuffed with deliciousness she’s in danger of collapse! Carina Green (top right) has the right idea of serving two fuck around burgers per plate – fucking delicious but there’s room for a few more chicken fingers, Carina!
Robbie MacAloney causes controversy with a potato-chip topped burger – well, why the fuck not? Chicken chips or dill picknel, you can’t go wrong. Lower left is Bradley G. Thomas’ healthy fuck around, with some green shit and tomato fucking thing – fibre is good, but that bacon needs more fucking flames brother, we can hear the oink from here!! You creative fuckers win a month of SwearNet.com!
AND THEN THERE’S THESE…
Congratulations to these fuckers who gave it a good try, but sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t go.
Jeremiah Saint (top left) was obviously fucking high when he read the recipe, ’cause we don’t remember it saying EIGHT POUNDS OF FUCKING CHEESE, JEREMIAH. But you know what, it looks delicious! We’d pound that down us (with a Pepto-Bismol chaser).
@RyeAndMarmalade (top right) sounds like they know a thing about cooking, but they must have been drunk on the liquor as they added EVERY CONDIMENT KNOWN TO MANKIND on their fuck around. We’d still hammer the fuck outta it, though.
Speaking of drunk and high, @ihatecookinganditshows created not a fuck around burger, but a THREE-EYED ALIEN MEAT MONSTER. Inspired to make this hot mess? Ingredients include brioche french toast, flamin’ hot cheetos-encrusted KFC fried chicken, Ben & Jerry’s poppin’ popcorn ice cream, and Jameson whiskey maple syrup & tabasco scorpion butter. Pairs well with Juniper space weed?!
Bottom right is @gilbybets’ creation – we call this the Fuck Around Creme De La Creme, if you nomesayin’… We hope that’s fucking mayo, Gilby!
Finally, Michael Rice (centre) wasn’t fucking around with his recipe: Three 6-ounce beef patties, triple cheese slices, peameal bacon, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, deep fried jalapeno poppers, deep fried pickles, special sauce, a fried egg and MORE crispy bacon. Trouble is, the cockspangle ate the fucking thing before he took a photo of it! Fuck’s sake Michael!!
For all your efforts, you also win a free month of SwearNet.com!
One for the money two for the show, three to get wasted, let’s fucking go! On the latest greasy episode of Park After Dark, the Boys get learnt about living in a simulation, the world’s smartest dogs, and why gender reveal parties can fuck right off. Also: Julian spends Jeff Bezos’ scrilla!
Randy knocked it outta the park on this week’s Park After Dark, creating the mouth-and-ass-watering April Fools’ Day Fuck Around Burger – and we want to see YOUR attempt! Get in the chicken fingers, pepperoni, onion rings and bacon to create your own delicious burger, upload a photo to your favourite social media fucking thing, and tag it #fuckaroundburger. Vegetarian or vegan? Just substitute some tasty non-meat alternatives and get creative as fuck. We’ll share our favourites next week, and the most scrump-dilly pics will win a free year of SwearNet.com!
This is Randy’s masterpiece. DEEEEfuckingLICIOUS!!!
Is it War or Peace in Sunnyvale? On the latest Park After Dark, Ricky and Randy attempt to make friends after their April Fools’ Day pranks went to shit! Can Randy win Ricky over with the DIRTIEST burger he’s ever made? Also: Forget shit hawks, look out for the Alaskan meat ravens!
Look out for more greasy cheeseburger fun later today! 🍔
Spring is springing on the latest Park After Dark and the Boys are getting horny – but what’s their mating call? Ricky’s also worried about shrinking cock sizes and the future of the human race, but Julian’s got a plan! Also: Will Bubbles’ chip dust invention work on steak and pickled eggs?
Ricky, Bubbles and ‘Julian Musk’ are back in business – making their own delicious potato chips! Ricky’s at the (mostly not on fire) fryer, flavour scientist Bubbles is perfecting the dirtiest of dirty burger flavours, and ‘Julian Musk’ is hustling for a buyer – but can he do a deal? We reckon the Boys are on to a fucking winner here. Dirty Burger, Jal-a-peno Zesty Mordent and Dressed All Over potato chips? Bring it on!! Would YOU eat a Sunnyvale Snack Company chip?
Slow roasted balogny… Shake & Bake hotdogs… presto pesto… four kinds of fancy-ass mustard… holy fuck, Bubbles and Ricky have cooked up a feast. Pity it’s all gonna give Julian heartburn! Also: Hank Williams, Ricky’s German lesson, and a massive tit fight!