Tag Archive for Paul

One of the Three Musketeers of Shit Cookery, Paul Kerry hilariously fucks up (and sometimes doesn’t fuck up) more recipes on SwearNet’s Offworld Cookery!

New on swearnet.com – Fuckin Glum Cunt

the offworld cookery cocks dressed up like mel gibson characters

On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, the three Northern English food cocks pay tribute to a certifiable film icon, Mel Gibson.

Dressed in garb from Braveheart, Mad Max, and Lethal Weapon, the lads prepare a spread of Mel-meals, including haggis-stuffed duck and a molasses-bread cleverly (?) named “Treacle Weapon.”

This cooking expedition is mentored by a beaver from the Mel Gibson film Beaver.  And this little beaver is full of fucking vitriol, voiced by the actual raving frothing Mel Gibson himself.  What a fucking glum cunt he can be.

New on swearnet.com – Law and Order

Officer Paul checks Alessandro's prison jump suit for semen with the aid of a black light

Alessandro is fucked now!  He’s in handcuffs, under the custody of Officer Paul Kerry and Judge Chico on the latest episode of Offworld Cookery.

Violent maniac cop Paul whips up a shitty porridge that is still too good for his prisoners.  Judge Chico pours a bunch of complicated shit into some weird fucking oven thing, and somehow produces a decent pork souffle. Then Alessando, the dead man walking, manages to pull off a dry-but-sweet pan of prison brownies just before his fate is sealed by the judge.

PLUS: If you’ve ever wondered what the blood-alcohol level is on a typical Offworld Cookery filming day, you’re about to find out!

 

New at swearnet.com: Holy fuck, it’s the Offworld Cookery special!

Offworld Cookery at SwearNetPraise be, we have a special Offworld Cookery episode for you – and this one is FUCKED!!! This week, Jesus Christ Himself (or it might be Chico in a shit wig) cooks a heavenly feast with the aid of holy wine, a burning bush, and a traditional Roman dick spoon!

If you pray hard enough to God/Jesus/Santa, there might be more Offworld Cookery adventures coming to swearnet.com in the future….