Rum you can smoke? That’s fucking genius, Julian!
Julian’s rum-flavoured rolling papers are flying off the shelves at trailerparkboysmerch.com right now, so get ta fuck over there and grab yourself some!
Are there any Sunnyvale-inspired merch products you’d like to see at the store? Let us know and we’ll see what the fuck we can do!
Some people lose a kidney and cry about it. Not Chico. On the latest episode of Offworld Cookery, he’s making the most of a medical emergency by cooking that fucking organ in a steak and kidney pie.
In their ode to hospital food, the OWC dicks are eating meals out of bed pans, chicken soup from piss jugs, and honing their surgery skills with a spirited and profane round of Operation.
GUEST-STARRING: Absinthe and cock rum.
The Offworld Cookery dicks wake up bright and early in the middle of the forest and decide it’s time to throw together a proper English breakfast (though this fucking meal has enough rum and dope in it to pass as a Sunnyvale breakfast)!
Along with breakfast, the lads cleanse their face holes for your amusement, and abuse the legendary croissant, mocking its fucked continental origins. We see how a sausage is made, and we catch a glimpse of an extremely dangerous-looking outdoor oven.
PLUS: What is an ‘unholy lasagna of the netherworld,’ and what does it taste like?!
Julian is in a positive mood for today’s episode of Dear Julian, despite some of you pricks deciding it’s ok to call him Swayze!
Julian sips on a rum and coke and answers fan questions about whisky-dick threesomes, lending money to friends who want to make a rap record, the sexiest places for ladies to get tattoos, and much more.
He also explains why his last name is secret (and it’s NOT fucking SWAYZE).
PLUS: How in the fuck can a Maritimer like Jules hate seafood?!
On this episode of Dear Julian, Julian tackles the big question that only he can answer: how to balance a love of booze with a desire to be a successful businessman.
Plus, he makes suggestions on how to drink rum and coke and avoid the calories, how to ask women on dates, and what to do if you’re faced with romancing a woman with fucked up hygiene.
Take a trip around the world without leaving your liquor! Episode 10 of The Jim Lahey Show and Randy is now available for free download on iTunes and Libsyn!
Join Mr. Lahey as he and renowned liquor scholar Dom Carlos explore the spiritual effects of the liquors of the world! Randy’s Kitchen serves up a summertime burger delight, and we learn how to roll a pinner!
Stay tuned til the end – Lahey has a big fuckin’ surprise for Randers!
Julian’s ready to pour a few drinks and share some advice on an upcoming edition of Dear Julian. Having trouble in your relationship? Planning a grocery store robbery to get food for your friend’s wedding and need help with logistics? You have problems, Julian has solutions.
Post your problems in the comment section below. If you use his advice, that’s fine. If you don’t, he really doesn’t give a fuck.
Hey fuckers, it’s time for another lil’ drinkypoo! This week on Liquor Stories, Lahey downs a famous rum from “Trinibag & Tobagel”, and is determined to get drunk as fuck before his performance tonight at the Blandford Recreation Centre!
It’s time for another episode of our new cooking shitshow, Offworld Cookery! This week, SwearNet’s culinary cocks travel into the future to cook up a fucked feast of spam, meatloaf, and prawn flavoured cheese in a tube. The future’s looking SHIT!
Forget Jamie Oliver, Nigella and those other culinary cocktarts – SwearNet is proud to present Offworld Cookery, a tragic (and hilarious) outdoor food spasm following a group of inebriated Northern English morons, and their attempts at cooking three-course meals in the wilderness.
In Episode One shivering shits Chico and Paul grapple with hot pork and mackerel to create a Hawaiian feast on the not-remotely-fucking-tropical Scottish island of Rum. The first episode is FREE to watch, so check it out now!